One Year Bible Reading Plan

A New Direction....

2012-02-27T18:38:00.001-08:00

So it has obviously been a while since my last post: June 15, 2011. And I am so ashamed to admit that it has been that long since I have truly been in God's Word. Somewhat hypocritical for a Christian educator, don't you think? It's not that I don't think about Jesus or the impact He has had on my life or the love that He has for me at this time....but I have just been too immersed in my own self-pity to bother to hear what He might have to say to me.

But today on the way to work I was struck by the idea that perhaps - in the world of iPad Apps - of which there are thousands (perhaps millions) there must be an app that pertains to Bible study.

So today I came home and searched the App store and to my surprise (or rather - my believe that there truly is an "app for that") I found a FREE Bible study that seems to fit my needs for now. It is entitled, amazingly enough, Holy Bible, and it not only has several different Bible versions available to read, but also numerous devotionals to study. Not only that...but there is the ability to bookmark favorite passages and, if needed, to add personal notes. This is the perfect app for me at this moment in my life.

And while some may call it coincidental - I am not at all surprised that I was able to discover a great devotional for me at this point in my life: Rick Warren's Daily Devotional. The first reading was from Genesis 24:1 which states: Abraham was now very old, and the LORD had blessed him in every way.

This absolutely meets me where I am today. I feel old - and while I feel blessed, I also feel that life has past me by. It is all downhill from here, so they say. And I do not feel as though I made it entirely up the hill.

In the devotional portion of the study Rick Warren states that:
The next ten years can be the Decade of Destiny.
....But before we can look to that future we must first determine our present condition:
Where am I now --- spiritually, financially, emotionally, relationally, physically, and occupationally?
And then...What would I like to change?

WOW -- that seems like a week's worth of devotionals rather than just a single day.

And perhaps that is the way I should handle it. But let's see how this goes.

Where am I today? My first response to this question is I am SPENT - in every single possible explanation of the word I am totally spent.

Spiritually I am as dry as a bone.
Financially, we are finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel - but it seems like a very long dark tunnel right now.
Emotionally -- I have no more resources left and yet....I am expected to still take care of everyone and every puppy.
Relationally? Well, Geoff and I will soon be married 30 years and that is no small feat - but do we relate to one another? He would probably say no -- as I am quite distant and share little with anyone. Would my kids say that they have a relationship with me? Probably not. They can call me and we can talk about rather surface issues but a true relationship? I don't think so. And in all honesty I am rather petrified how appealing I find the hermit lifestyle. I keep reading that God has created us to be social beings, and yet I do not feel social at all. Either God made a mistake (which I know is not possible) or I am broken.
Physically? HA -- that is a joke. I continue to think that I will maintain a walking routine and it never lasts longer than a week. I am great at creating excuses but that is all they are. And my diet is horrible.
And lastly, occupationally? Well, I think it is a sign when I cannot maintain the course load that I had first semester and the administration agrees to give me a sabbatical: the first one ever in the history of the school. Not only that...but I have another class cancel and three student quick a third class in one week. My course load is the lightest it has EVER been since I started teaching in 2001 - and yet I feel totally spent. Occupationally I would say I am barely hanging on.

What would I like to change? I think that requires more thinking.

But I must say that the devotional passage does indeed give me hope. Abraham was old - and yet the Lord still had great plans for his life.

In ten years I will be 62 -- old, yes. But still vital. I do believe that the Lord does have great plans for my life and I look forward to discovering what those plans might actually be

Psalm 36-38

2011-06-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

June 15, 2011: Psalm 36-38

I am so grateful that the way this reading is developed, the difficult history books are followed by the rich Psalms. I may find it difficult to find just one verse in the multiple chapters read on Tuesdays, but I am never at a loss for finding a verse to relate to me when I read the Psalms.

Today there were several verses from Psalm 37 that have struck me as pertinent to my life.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I can speak from personal experience on this one. I have had a desire to travel since I was in second grade. I had great dreams of becoming an international stewardess and traveling the world. But as I grew older another desire overshadowed that one - the desire to be a wife and a mother. And the Lord honored that desire and the travel bug went dormant. But in 2006 it was as though the Lord awoke that desire and said now is the time. It meant waiting nearly 40 years, but now is the time to start seeing the world. Would my life have been complete without the fulfillment of travel? Indeed. But these new experiences only enrich my life even further.

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

I used to hate the words, Be still and know that I am God. I have never thought that God meant for us to do nothing - and yet I have also come to realize that God does not want us to be so busy that we ignore His leading and timing in our lives. I much prefer the adage, Work like it all depends on you, but pray like it all depends on God. I suppose that is the Martha in me.

But when I read this verse today I did not focus so much on be still - but rather I focused on do not fret. Stop worrying - for it adds not one minute to your life (and truth be told, probably takes away many). Do what you are called to do and do not worry about the misleading of others. Be patient. While we want God to do his sovereign work immediately - we must be willing to wait for his sovereign timing as well.

Today's reading ended with this appropriate verse:
Psalm 38:21-22 O Lord, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.

1 Samuel 11-15

2011-06-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

June 14, 2011: 1 Samuel 11-15

I continue to struggle with the history books of the Bible. I suppose for those who enjoy action adventure stories, this would have been a good passage as there is lots of battles and plundering and such. I think I much prefer to hear of God's love than the Israelites' war stories.

But in these chapters I did find a few verses that spoke to me, and which are linked by the common theme of Obedience:
1 Samuel 12:12b-15 ...you said to me, "No, we want a king to rule over us" - even though the Lord your God was your king. Now here is the king you have chosen, the one you asked for; see, the Lord has set a king over you. If you fear the Lord and serve and obey him and do not rebel against his commands, and if both you and the king who reigns over you follow the Lord your god - good! But if you do not obey the Lord, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you, as it was against your fathers.

These verses are so indicative of our human nature. We think we know what is best for ourselves. We ask God for those things we think we want - we think we need - we think would make our lives better. We are upset when He says no and sometimes question whether He really is a loving God.

Here God decides to give the Israelites what they ask for. They want a king - a human king to rule over them here on earth. God has indicated that He is their King - a heavenly king that has promised to protect them from above. But they do not have faith. They want a king that they can see - rather than believing in one that is invisible from their eyes.

So by receiving the gift that is asked for - the Israelites profess faith in God and promise to obey. But this is a short-lived promise. And while I read the Bible I find that I become very frustrated with the Israelites, it really doesn't take much introspection to realize that I am just as guilty. How often have I asked God for special favor and He has been kind enough to grant it - and yet little time passes before I take the gift for granted, or I ask for more, or I turn from true devotion to lip service. I am indeed no different from the Israelites that frustrate me so.

The end of this passage concludes with the following verses:
1 Samuel 15:22 Des the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

Obedience. It seems too simple on the outside, doesn't it? It seems that a true follower of the Lord would be required to do so much more - sacrifice all earthly possessions - devote hours to prayer and theological studies. But in reality it is simple Obedience that the Lord desires. Just read His word - listen to His leading - and follow. Don't question His sovereignty, just trust. Have faith that He truly knows what is best for your life and just do it.

Simple is sometimes the most difficult of all.

Genesis 48-50

2011-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

June 13, 2011: Genesis 48-50

I have come to the end of the first book of the Bible - where it all began. And I found it interesting that today's scriptures seem to mirror my own life. Jacob is dying - and he has requested to see Joseph and his sons. Jacob gives council to Joseph, praise to God, and blessings to his children and grandchildren. Not much as changed since that time. As Mom was dying she sought the company of her family. And she wished to bless us - not with council but with an inheritance, in the hope that it would indeed bless our lives. She made her last requests known, and then she passed on.

Somehow the reading of these scriptures written ages ago - and the same recent experience in my own life - helps me to truly witness this circle of life. From dust we begin - and to dust we return. God has numbered our days - and while we are here on this earth he wishes to remain in close relationship with us. He knows that our days are short - and He desires that we follow His commands which will bring joy and contentment in our lives and those we love.

The verse that caught my attention today is found in Genesis 50:20: You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. I was startled that such a verse existed in this first book of the Bible, for it is nearly the same message that is my life verse found in the New Testament - Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God does not promise us that life will be easy; He does not promise that we will not experience trials, disappointments, and frustrations. But he does promise that if we have faith and if we follow his design for our life that ALL things will eventually work for our good and the good of his kingdom. So when strife happens, as it undoubtedly will - I do try to remember that if I stop worrying and instead turn it over to the Lord that it can indeed be a blessing in disguise.

1 Corinthians 9-10

2011-06-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

June 12, 2011: 1 Corinthians 9-10

When we first became members of the church of the Nazarene we had to read "the little black book" In that book were such rules of conduct that members of the church were to follow. Such rules included: no smoking - no drinking - no going to movies. The last one sounded a bit strange, almost cult-like to me - but as was soon realized, most of the members of the church ignored that rule. Some wouldn't go to the movie theater - but they would watch movies on DVD. Some would go to the theater, but would limit the films to those rated PG-13. Still others adopted the same movie practices as the non-Christian. It was obvious to me at that point that the little black book was not routinely followed by all church members.

While I thought the rule was strange, it really didn't affect me much. After all, I rarely went to the movies but preferred to wait for the DVD release because it was less expensive. But the rule that did bother me was the "no drinking" rule. Now, I believe that drinking to excess is a sin - as the Bible constantly admonishes against drunkenness. But I was not sure that drinking was expressly prohibited.

It wasn't that I drank all the time, but I did enjoy a good chianti with my spaghetti dinner, or a nice chardonnay with my shrimp scampi, or a cold bottle of beer with my summertime cook-out. I wasn't sure what to do. Do I continue to drink because I have not been convicted it is sinful, or do I adopt the rules of the church since I committed to becoming a member? (I have always been a rule follower - but isn't legalism what Christ preached against?)

In reading the Bible early on my Christian walk, I came upon this verse that seemed to put it in proper perspective: 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God - even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

I decided at that point that I would abstain - not because I thought it was sinful for me, but I was afraid that my actions might cause my impressionable children to stumble, and I saw it as my responsibility to educate them on the straight and narrow road to Christ.

These past two years, however, I have realized that my children have grown and adopted their own belief system. They are adults, and I believe that it is time that I can begin to do what I feel is best for me. So...I have started to drink beer and wine again. I have never been one for stronger alcohol, and I am not one to drink to excess. But I do enjoy relaxing each evening with a glass of wine - and then perhaps pairing my dinner with a complimentary beverage.

Does this affect my relationship with Christ? I think not.

Does this affect my relationship with others in the church? Perhaps - but that would be due to their judgment of me --- and I believe that no one on earth has the right to judge me -- only my Father in heaven.

Mark 3-4

2011-06-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

June 11, 2011: Mark 3-4

I like the gospels - and I like the simplicity and straightforwardness of the gospel Mark. It is fast paced and to the point. In these two chapters I was particularly struck by a couple of passages. First of all, Christ really is everywhere. I know I have been taught that principle, but here Mark shows me. In these two chapters we see Jesus at the synagogue, by the lake, in the mountains, and in a private house. Each time he is followed by hundreds who wish to be healed, and nearly each time he not only heals them, but he teaches them of the kingdom of God. In fact, a couple of times in these two short chapters Jesus speaks of having ears and hearing the truth.

But we must be willing to use our ears to really listen. Jesus speaks in parables - what seem to be riddles to those who don't understand, or perhaps more accurately stated, those who don't care to take the time to understand. I remember as a child hearing these parables and being confused. Sometimes as an adult I still have a difficult time - but the verse that really caught my attention today occurs in Mark 4:34 He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.

The key to this verse, I believe is when he was alone with his disciples, he explained everything. How often have I grown frustrated with my lack of understanding - but fail to spend time alone with the only one who can provide insight? Daily devotions are key - especially if I do not want to be like the seed cast among the thorns: ... hear the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. (Mark 4:19)

I get too caught up in the worries of this world and allow those concerns and anxieties to choke the living word right out of me. Take time to spend with Christ, and He will explain all that I need to know (and I must be willing to accept that He may not explain all that I want to know) and I can rest in His providential care.

Isaiah 62-66

2011-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

June 10, 2011: Isaiah 62-66

As I looked back at my last entry I saw that it was dated March 24 --- two days before Mom's passing. After that point, life became chaotic to say the least. Mom's memorial service - packing up her apartment - taking care of trust issues - Brynn's birth - CPA graduation - Mandy's graduation - it seemed never ending. It is not that I thought I needed God less - but rather, I knew that I could not keep up blog entries. So rather than just read the Bible - I gave up all together.

But I refuse to quit. I have decided to get back to the routine and while it may take me slightly longer than 52 weeks to read through the Bible - I will complete the task eventually.

So March 24th was a Thursday - and I thought it would be fitting to just pick up where I left off: on Friday and a study of Isaiah.

In reading these final chapters of Isaiah I was struck by two passages in particular. First, the repetition of the message: For when I called, no one answered, when I spoke, no one listened. They did evil in my sight and chose what displeases me (last noted in Isaiah 66:4b)

How often have I ignored His gentle calling in my life because I have been "too busy" While I try not to intentionally ignore the will of God (although there are times when I find it difficult to discern his voice) - I know that I disappoint because I am 'too busy' to spend time with Him. And....if you don't spend time someone, how can you hear what they have to say? How can you nurture that relationship? If I really bring it down to size -- I am too proud. I think that what I have to do is more important than a few minutes alone with my Creator. And that is sinful. Why can I not learn that in making the time to spend with Him --- He will show me how to prioritize my time for other things in life. Sometimes I am a very slow study.

The other passage that really resonated with me today is found in Isaiah 64:8: Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Now it is not that I have never heard these words before - they are often sung as a hymn of invitation in our church - but they have taken on new meaning for me this morning. I am taking part in an online course this summer, Unravelling, while at the same time working through the book, The Artist's Way --- all in an effort to get in touch with who I am at this new phase of life. I feel like after 25 years of raising a family, and recently, caring for a parent, it is now time to take of me for a change.

I have viewed art - or any kind of creative expression - as strictly play. That is, if there is free time, then it is an activity to pursue - but it should never be made a priority. Work is always the priority - play is always the reward. But I am beginning to realize that this kind of either/or thinking is detrimental to my health. It doesn't have to be either/or -- it can be both. In fact, it should be both.

Here the God of the universe is a true artist - a Creator - he is a potter, creating unique vessels that serve a purpose. Art does serve purpose.

I want to stop viewing my heavenly Father as just the God of retribution -- but I also want to view Him as the God of artistic expression - the God of rest and relaxation (He actually declared one entire day of the week to be set aside for such rejuvenation) - and the God of love and acceptance.

Job 23-24

2011-03-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

March 24, 2011: Job 23-24

"Life's a B---- and then you die"

"Life's not fair, but God is good."

"Only the good die young."

Pithy little statements that are supposed to help us get through the sludge of this existence on earth. The daily circumstances of life are forever changing - and if things are going well one minute, well, watch out - they are bound to change direction soon.

If anyone had a right to feel this way it would be Job. And yet....despite his human frustration he never denies the existence of a righteous and just God. In fact, He defends the Almighty to the bitter end.

I like the way Job states his observance of life rather than the short little quips above:
Job 24:22-24 But God drags away the mighty by his power; though they become established, they have no assurance of life. He may let them rest in a feeling of security, but his eyes are on their ways. For a little while they are exalted, and then they are gone; they are brought low and gathered up like all others; they are cut off like heads of grain.

How often do I allow the household finances to dictate my feelings of security? While money may establish a seemingly comfortable life on this earth - the truth is that money has no foothold on the security of everlasting life with God the father.

Psalm 33-35

2011-03-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

March 23, 2011: Psalm 33-35

The Psalms are filled with verses of praise to the Lord for the mighty works He has done, the answers to prayers He has given, and the shelter and refuge He has provided from times of strive and peril. But what if we are too tired, or frustrated, or brokenhearted, or weak or (fill in the blank) to call upon the Lord? The good news I found is in ....
Psalm 35: 3 ... Say to my soul, "I am your salvation."

God knows our heart and I would like to think that He knows when we have been given more than I fair share of burdens to carry. How comforting it is to know that He can gently remind us of His sufficiency. That He can call us to seek shelter in His presence. That He can provide the salvation that we need at just the right time when we need it most.

1 Samuel 6-10

2011-03-22T04:33:00.000-07:00

March 22, 2011: 1 Samuel 6-10

I remember when I was in grade school, studying Exodus. I remember reading about the grumbling Israelites and thinking how ridiculous they were. Ah....the ignorance of youth! The older I get, the more I realize that I am more like the Israelites than I care to admit.

While I instinctively know that God is not a divine Santa Claus, sitting on his heavenly throne waiting to grant our our every wish - sometimes I am afraid that I treat him that way. What is even worse, when I do not receive my request, I interpret that as the Lord does not love me, or perhaps I extrapolate that even further and surmise that perhaps there is not an all-powerful, caring God.

If I would take my eyes off myself - and even view my parenting style - I would realize the foolishness of this thinking. How often have I told my children No because I knew the request was not beneficial for them - or perhaps it was not the right time in their lives to pursue this line of interest - or perhaps we simply could not afford it. Did this denial or postponement mean that I did love them? NO Did it mean that I did not care if I disappointed them? NO. It simply meant that I had a more objective, mature view of the request in context of the whole and based on my own previous knowledge (and perhaps wisdom) I knew that it was not in their best interest. I was actually demonstrating more love by saying No than if I had said yes. Why do I not give God the same benefit of the doubt that I wish my children would give me? That He truly does love me and desires only the best for me in life.

1 Samuel 8:19-21 ... "NO!" they said. "We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles." When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. The Lord answered, "Listen to them and give them a king."

Yes, the Lord knows what is best for us - and yet we still try to keep up with the Joneses. "But everyone else has it, why can't I?" Sometimes the Lord may give us our desires not because it is best for us - but because we will learn to trust Him more by suffering the consequences of our request.

I do believe that we are to ask God for everything through prayer - but we should always be careful to end that prayer as Christ has taught us: "But not my will, but thine, O Lord."

Genesis 44-47

2011-03-21T04:11:00.000-07:00

March 21, 2011: Genesis 44-47

Genesis 45:5;8 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ... So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God.

I remember when we first moved to Kansas from Connecticut. We were so excited: Geoff had the job of a lifetime, and we lived in a a style of house that we had only dreamed of. The neighborhood was teeming with playmates for the children, and suburban life suited me to a T. And then...three months later...Geoff was told that his job was on probation; two months later he was fired. Our world had come crashing down and I truly could not fathom a God existed who would bring away from friends, family, and a familiar part of the country to the middle of nowhere, USA only to devastate our lives.

But that was not the end of the story - just the beginning. That December we were invited to church and the following week Geoff accepted Christ. That Christmas I timidly made the same declaration of faith. That January I joined a Bible study group and that Easter we all participated in the Victor production. It was sometime in that time period that I came across the words of Paul:
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things god works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 12:19-20 do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Now I must admit that I liked the word-picture of burning coals on top of her head...but over time I began to focus less on the revenge and more on God. Could he really bring good from this terrible circumstance? Of course he could - and he did. It was shortly afterwards that I chose to claim this as my life verse.

Has life been perfect? NO - far from it. Do I have the same spirit of love and forgiveness as Joseph did towards his brothers? Hardly. But I do still hold firm to the fact that as long as I purpose to do God's will, and follow His commands, and love my neighbor as myself, that ALL that comes my way can be used for the good in my own life. And I praise the Lord that promise.

1 Corinthians 7-8

2011-03-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

March 20, 2011: 1 Corinthians 7-8

I remember when we were about to join the Church of the Nazarene. The pastor gave us a "little black book" that listed all the doctrinal beliefs and "rules" to follow. Some of the rules seemed rather silly to me, and while I may not have danced much in my life - or I may not have spent much time at the movie theater - I failed to see the Biblical foundation in these particular "thou shalt nots".

But the one rule with which I grappled the most was not to drink any alcoholic beverage. Now, it's not that I drink all the time, but I did enjoy a nice glass of chianti with an Italian meal, or a good Chardonnay with seafood. I knew that the Bible warned against drunkenness - but that is a far cry from forever forbidding a glass or two of wine.

For the longest time I chose to fall on the side of, If I joined the church, then I should adopt the church rules - I am after all, a rule follower, and so I gave up drinking all together for about ten years.

But then I began to notice that these man-made rules were apparently open to interpretation. Dancing was not allowed, but creative movement was fine (as long as at least one foot was on the ground at all times?!) Gradually Nazarenes began to warm up to the idea of watching movies on DVD in their own homes, to actually venturing into the movie theater. Some are still appalled by PG movies, while others readily view the newest R-rated release film.

Today's scripture finally answers the question that I have had for nearly twenty years:
1 Corinthians 8:8-9 But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat and no better if we do. Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

What I choose to do is between me and the Lord. If I feel directed by the Lord not to drink (or see a movie), and I go ahead and do so --- then I am sinning. If, however, I do not feel directed as such, then that decision remains between the Lord and myself. My life should not dictated by the man-made laws in a little black book, but rather should be dictated by God laws that engraved on my heart.

Drunkenness is never tolerated; a drink is a personal matter. As long as taking that drink does not cause someone in my presence to stumble (and under age child - a recovering alcoholic - or a teetotalling friend, for example) then I will allow my actions in life be dictated by the Lord and not by "little black books."

Mark 1-2

2011-03-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

March 19, 2011: Mark 1-2

I remember when I took a Gospel comparison class in college - that Mark was short, nuts-and-bolts gospel. There is no introduction of infant Jesus - it starts off with his baptism by John the Baptist. The forty days in the desert is but two verses long. And then miracles are told. Miracle after miracle in the first chapter alone!

But the verse that speaks to me today has nothing to do with these monumentous miracles, but rather it speaks to where I exist right now:
Mark 1:15 The time has come, he said. The kingdom of God is near.

This sounds eminent - as in, any minute or at the longest, any day. But God's timing is not our timing. He does not measure it the same way that we do. We grow impatient and weary of the wait, but God sees the future as clearly as the past and there is no need to rush.

I was told on Monday that Mom's death was eminent. I was told on Wednesday that she was obviously holding on for some unfinished business. I was told yesterday that at any time she could take her last breath. And yet ... it is obviously not God's timing that she depart this world for the next.

I like to be organized. I like to set goals. I like to devise a step by step plan to help me achieve the desired end. But while I think that planning is necessary to accomplishing all that we desire - and purpose in life - I also believe that plans must leave room for flexibility. Otherwise, too rigid a plan could discount any unforeseen opportunities. The goal will be reached, there just may be some necessary detours along the way.

Mom's fate in inevitable. She will leave this world and she will enter the gates of Heaven. But the timing is up to God. I can take comfort in knowing that I have said all that needs to be said - that I have been there when I believe she needed me most - and that God can be trusted to care for her when the time is right.

The time has come...

Isaiah 56-61

2011-03-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

March 18, 2011: Isaiah 56-61

I find it difficult to focus on a few short verses on days when there are several chapters to read; I feel as though I am misrepresenting the Bible by picking and choosing. But in these five chapters I did find myself returning to this thought:
Isaiah 58:13-14 If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.

Setting aside the Sabbath and keeping it holy. Focusing on God rather than self. Being deliberate with the words that come of our mouths rather than idly speaking. Do I really treat the Sabbath day any differently than the other six days of the week? I keep one hour of the Sabbath - but the entire day?

I think this is a good place to start in trying to follow Christ at a deeper level. And the Lenten season is the perfect time to institute a new practice.

I don't necessarily think that the entire day needs to be spent on my knees -- but rather I must purposefully live the day in honor of Christ. If I take a walk, listen to praise music rather than my usual playlist. If I am involved in a craft - play worship songs in the background - or meditate on the morning's sermon. If I grade papers for school or write lesson plans, ask the Lord's blessing on each of my students. Little steps will draw me closer to the Lord.

Job 21-22

2011-03-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

March 17, 2011: Job 21-22

As I have said in the past, I often find it difficult to understand Job. I think I become confused by the point of view. His friends I think I understand (perhaps it is because it is the way I think - which is quite telling). They believe that Job's circumstances are due to his wickedness. They believe that if Job would just confess his sins, God would make right his life again. But the reader knows from the beginning that is NOT the reason for Job's plight. God singled Job out as being the most righteous man and allowed Satan to strip away his outer riches and health in order to prove that what was on the inside was true and just. Job also knows that he is not a wicked man, and he is trying to make sense of it all.

While I understand the agreement between God and Satan, I must confess that in my humanness I find it difficult to reconcile that a loving God would allow such suffering of a man that he is a true follower. Somehow it just doesn't seem fair - at least according to my earthly sense of justice. When I listen to the friends, I find that I become frustrated. I do believe that close friends - those who have earned the right to be forthright and frank with one another - are called upon to hold each other accountable. There are times where we are to ask each other about our Christian walk and try to ensure that we both stay on the straight and narrow. But we are also called upon to encourage and listen and offer compassion. Job has made it clear that he has nothing to atone for --- and the friends refuse to believe their good friend.

And yet isn't this kind of judging continue today? Don't some holier-than-thous state that natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina and the latest Japanese earthquake are due to the wickedness of the people? Don't they view this as God's just retribution?

Rather than try to make sense of the big picture - which I am obviously slow to understand - I will choose to focus on these select verses:
Job 22:21-27 Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored; If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks in ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest silver for you. Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows.

I was first hit with the verse --- then the Almighty will be your gold.... as someone who has suffered with financial difficulty for the majority of my married life, this verse seemed to slap me in the face and say YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS ALL WRONG. Do not rely on the paper money in the bank account - rely on the heavenly gold that is God the father. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses --- rather, keep in line with Christ. Stop trying to find peace in the next toy - find peace in the security that God cares for you.

After I settled on these words for a while, I decided to study the verses that preceded them. The peace that I am so desperately searching for is to be found in God the father. Continue with daily devotions; seek Him first. Submit to his instruction; let go of any hindrance in life that prevents this kind of devotion and then....prosperity will follow. Which makes sense. IF you do this....then the heavenly Gold and Silver which is God the Father will be available to me.

LOOK UP.

I tend to walk by casting my eyes downward. I think I do that for two reasons. First, I don't want to look people in the eye (partly due to self-esteem issues -- what if they wanted to talk? and partly due to living in New York City where that is cardinal rule number one) but secondly I fear tripping on a crack and I like to see where I am going. When I clean the house I focus on eye level and below. I dust the table tops and vacuum the floor - but I never think to look at the ceiling. Consequently cobwebs abound.

In life I must start to LOOK UP. Stop focusing on the things that are just of this earth: here today and gone tomorrow. Begin to focus on the eternity of heaven.

Psalm 30-32

2011-03-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

March 16, 2011: Psalm 30-32

Shelter - Refuge - Rock - Fortress

These are words that are used to describe God many times in the Psalms. A shelter from bad weather or the stormy times in life; a refuge for safety when we wish to hide from the assaults of the world; a rock which is strong and impenetrable when the changes of life seem to shift with no warning; and a fortress which is reminiscent of a tower of strength when being attacked by enemies. All of these images are beneficial to remember when trying to be mindful of the verse, If God be for us, then who be against us.

But while this seemed to be a common theme of these three chapters, the verse that stood out to me the most was this:
Psalm 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

I have voiced several times that I struggle with making sense of the God of the New Testament who speaks of unfailing love and the God of the Old Testament who is full of retribution. But here - in the Old Testament - is an image of a God who is forgiving, and loving, and kind. Yes, He does get angry, but it lasts but a moment; His true desire is to show us favor for a lifetime.

While I continue to deal with my first impressions of God as the Divine accountant of the sky --- it is verses like these that will choose to focus. He is a God of love - I must be willing to accept that love.

1 Samuel 1-5

2011-03-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

March 15, 2011: 1 Samuel 1-5

It is spring break, but my personal devotions have taken a backseat due to Mom's health. I have been reading scriptures to her - but have failed to keep up with my own daily reading. This will be an attempt to quickly catch up.

The verses that struck me in these few chapters are in a section entitled, Hannah's Prayer. Hannah has been barren for years and desperately wants a child. He has endured torment at the temple and she has anguished over the fact that she cannot give her husband a son. In a heartfelt prayer to the Lord she asked once again for a child, promising to give him over the Lord all the days of his life. The Lord honored this prayer and she indeed have a son, whom she named Samuel.

After Samuel was weaned she made good on her promise and took him to the temple to be raised by the priest, Eli. I simply cannot imagine what kind of strength and courage this took for Hannah to turn over the child to be raised by another. But not only she did follow through on this promise, but she willingly sang praises to the Lord as she did so:
1 Samuel 2:1-2 My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.

What a role model! How I yearn to have the kind of faith that can willingly sing praises to the Lord in the midst of heartbreaking circumstances.

Genesis 40-43

2011-03-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

March 14, 2011: Genesis 40-43

Once again I am taught to view the circumstances of life with a different perspective.

The first of these verses focus on Joseph's imprisonment. He is called upon to interpret the dreams of the cup bearer and the baker. In exchange for this service, Joseph only asks that he be remembered to Pharaoh. When the interpretations ring true, the favor is forgotten and Joseph is forced to spend another two years in jail. In fact, it was not until he is thirty years sold - approximately 13 years after he had originally been sold into slavery, that Joseph finds favor in the eyes of Pharaoh and is placed in the seat of power over Egypt.

Now I know if I had been Joseph, I would have renounced God several times. First, when my 'godly' brothers sold me into captivity. Secondly, when Potipher's wife claimed a bold-faced lie which landed me in jail for a crime that I obviously did not commit; and now thirdly, when I would correctly interpret a dream, promised a favor, and the favor quickly forgotten. As I said last week, I know that I would have doubted God's supreme omnipotence if he could not even have one lowly cup bearer remember me to the Pharaoh.

But not Joseph. He remained imprisoned, apparently without incident. for two more years before the cup bearer finally remembered his duty.
Genesis 41:9 Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, "Today I am reminded of my shortcomings."

So it really isn't about God's omnipotence - but rather it is more about human free-will. God's will was delayed because the cup bearer forgot to mention Joseph. It is not always about God's will - but rather our human response to what He asks us to do. Ultimately God's will is done --- but it was not his lack of compassion for Joseph that delayed the outcome - but rather human error.

I always assume that it is God's disfavor with me that accounts for my circumstances in life. How I need to remember the stories of Job and Joseph. My circumstances, no matter how bleak, do not discount the amazing love and compassion that God has for me; rather, I must not lose faith that his ultimate good, pleasing and perfect will does indeed come to pass despite human frailties.

1 Corinthians 5-6

2011-03-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

March 13, 2011: 1 Corinthians 5-6

Many of these verses deal with sexual immorality. While I am certainly not perfect - sexual immorality is not a temptation with which I must deal. It would be easy for me to skim through these verses and discount them as meaningful for my life. After all, my husband knows for certain that sexual infidelity is not a vice of mine.

But there are a few verses that speak to the topic of judgment. As someone who has always suffered with the tyranny of comparison: constantly comparing myself to others and usually falling short of the mark - judgment is, in my mind, an inevitable offshoot. While I rarely think of myself as greater, there are times that I know I have compared my spiritual prowess to others and in my heart have judged them harshly. I have recently been convicted of this sinful act. I have come to realize that it is truly but the grace of God go I. I know that if I truly put myself in others' shoes, I cannot say that I wouldn't make the same choices.
1 Corinthians 6:5-7 ... Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? ... The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

These are harsh words. Rather than words of judgment - we should be willing to be wronged? Rather than words of rebuke, we should rather be cheated? God's ways truly are counter to our own human condition.

But I am not only convicted regarding my mind - but also my body.
1 Corinthians 6: 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

In these past few weeks as I have had to watch my own mother die, I feel as though I have been taught how to live. Mom has been sick the majority of the past decade; and she has been sickly for at least the last twenty years. I do not want to live that way - for that is not truly living. I want to learn how to grab a hold of life and never let go. I want to learn how to make the most of the time I have here on earth - rather than just exist.

I believe that this starts first with taking care of the one body that the Lord has given us. While I am certain that I genetic defects, I am also certain that I can do things now that will help ensure a longer, stronger body later. I need to start watching the foods that enter my system. I need to monitor the exercise that I do - not only to maintain good weight, but also to strengthen vital organs. My Lenten promise to walk two miles a day should not just be for this 40 day period - but should remain a priority for the rest of my life. I have yet to start; it is time to stop the postponement and just do it --- in honor of Mom.

Matthew 26-28

2011-03-12T21:26:00.000-08:00

March 12, 2011: Matthew 26-28

There have been many times in life when I have grown weary of proving myself: proving my trustworthiness; proving my worth; proving my ability to get the job done. At some point I think that my past experience and reputation should speak for itself.

And yet don't I put Christ in that same position in my own life? Hasn't He already proven Himself trustworthy - capable of unconditional love - miracle worker? And yet I always find myself asking him once again to do "just this one thing" and then I will truly believe that you are the Son of God.

I remember we performed the Victor, a passion play, at our church for a number of years. I was in the choir and we all participated in the scene where Pilate convicts Jesus. Few choir members were sympathizers --- most of us were shouting "Crucify him - Crucify Him"

At the time I remember thinking --- if I had lived back then I would never have been one of "those" people. I am not sure that I would have been a vocal supporter of Christ - but I would not have publicly asked for his murder either.

And yet --- how am I any different from those in the crowd who shouted:
Matthew 27:41-42 In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross and we will believe in him."

Isn't that the same as asking Christ for one more visible sign that he is Lord? One more sign that He truly does loves me? One more opportunity to prove to me that if He really cared for me He would perform this one tiny miracle?

It is time to put my thoughts into true word pictures. Asking Christ for one more visible sign is the same as condemning Him to the cross. If I do not want to be accused of uttering the words, Crucify Him --- then I must stop the nonsensical thoughts. Christ is Christ. He has already proven Himself to be so.

Isaiah 51-55

2011-03-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

March 11, 2011: Isaiah 51-55

There is simply too much in these chapters to digest at any one time. I think these chapters should be required weekly reading for any Christian.

While it is difficult to focus on just a few verses, I will do my best here.

I have always found it difficult to understand the God of the New Testament -- the one who has a love that is deeper, wider, higher than any love we can imagine. I have always envisioned the God of the Old Testament -- rather like the Divine Accountant in the sky. He views all and notates every act. At the end of life he looks at the debit column and the credit column and the one with the most entries dictates our eternal resting place.

There are some verses contained in these chapters that help me to understand the compassionate side of God:

Isaiah 54:8-9 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness i will have compassion on you, ...to me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.

I have always focused on the negative. I have internalized the scriptures to read that In a surge of anger the Lord hid his face from me for a lifetime - to never again look upon me with kindness or compassion. But these verses suggest the opposite: the anger is but for an instant - the kindness is everlasting.

But this favor from the Lord is only made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

I have just finished studying To Kill a Mockingbird for about the fifth time in my English 1 class. We thoroughly discuss the many themes contained therein, not the least of which is justice vs injustice. Harper Lee does a wonderful job of illustrating the injustice of Tom Robinson's verdict in the courtroom scene. I think that is the way most of view injustice: being blamed or found guilty for something that we did NOT do. But justice is fairness. And isn't a part of fairness that we must suffer the consequences for crimes or infractions that we DID do?

Our God is a just God. We want Him to judge the sinners and bring down our enemies. BUT...if God is just - then he must be just all the time. He must be fair to all of us - impartially. And the Bible tells us that:

Isaiah 53:6a We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.

We all should face the wrath and anger of God. And since we are constantly putting ourselves first - following our own way rather than His - we should endure the everlasting anger of God and only but a second of His favor. My Old Testament image of God is as it should be.

The first verses of chapter 53, however, beautifully illustrate the sacrificial love of Christ by humbling himself here on earth so that we might enjoy everlasting life in heaven - culminating for me with:

Isaiah 53:6b And the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:12b For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

He paid the price for my sins. God is just - and the wage of sin is death. God must exact the verdict on all who have sinned because God is impartial. However, God provided a way for us to be free from his wrath - by allowing his son to carry the burden of our sins so that we might be saved.

That is how much God loved us: by allowing His own son to die in my place. That is how much Christ loved us: by willingly dying on the cross for sins that He did not commit.

Each year I am moved to tears by the injustice of Tom Robinson's verdict. Should I not be moved to tears by the injustice of Christ's sacrifice for me each and every day?

Job 19-20

2011-03-10T20:40:00.000-08:00

March 10, 2011: Job 19-20

I actually read these chapters last night, but I wasn't quite sure how to sum up my thoughts. All day I have been mulling these verses and the one that has remained at the top of mind is this:
Job 19:17a My breath is offensive to my wife.

Not a frequently quoted verse of scripture I am sure, but here is why I think I remember it even 24 hours later.

First of all - it is humorous. The previous verses discuss all that Job has lost during this period of testing: his family - his wealth - his health. He was alienated from his brothers (19:13) his friends have forgotten him (19:14); he summons his servants for help but they do not respond (19:16); even the children on the street scorn him (19:18). We have all felt this way before I am sure - the world is against us and we are all alone to fend for ourselves. But these are the big, catastrophic events of life; these are the times when we expect to call out to God and he hears our prayers of anguish.

But I found it rather comforting - in a humorous sort of way - that God cares and understands about every little facet of our lives: every disappointment - every loss - and every turn of events. He even cares that our breath may be found offensive to our spouse and we will be shunned for that. Now, I may not be a Job and suffer the extent of loss that he suffers, but I can instantly relate to him on something so obscure as bad breath. Yes, God cares about the minute details of every day life and how grateful I am that nothing is too big - or too small - to bring to Him in prayer.

Psalm 27-29

2011-03-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

March 9, 2011: Psalm 27-29

Speak it into existence. --- As a man thinks so he is. --- Fake it till you make it.

As I read these scriptures today I am amazed how the psalmist has such faith:
Psalm 27:2-3 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

I just don't have that kind of faith. I mean, I sometimes stumble when I have a bad day at work - hardly the same confidence as those who are facing an entire army.

In the past I would read these kinds of verses and become discouraged. I don't have that kind of faith, therefore I must not be saved. It takes these faith "superheros" to earn favor with God - and I fall short every time.

But today I read these verses and was struck with another idea. Do I necessarily have to believe them in order to claim them? I mean, couldn't it happen in reverse? Couldn't I claim these verses to be true because I know them to me --- and if I read them and voice them often enough, won't the emotional faith response follow?

All the positive self-talk videos use this kind of thinking: Fake it till you make it; Speak it into existence. Whey wouldn't this work for a lowly Christian who is trying to increase her faith? Can't I speak these verses into existence into my own faith walk?
Psalm 27:7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me.

Psalm 28:1-2 To you I call, O Lord my rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. ... Hear my cry for mercy as i call to you for help.

Psalm 28: 6-7 Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Ruth 1-4

2011-03-08T04:36:00.000-08:00

March 8, 2011: Ruth 1-4

I am ashamed to admit that I am not as familiar with the story of Ruth as I am with the stories found in Genesis. I knew that there was a special bond between Naomi and Ruth, but I was unfamiliar with Boaz.

As I read the story today, as if for the first time, I was struck by the repeated phrase, kinsman-redeemer. I have often heard of Christ being called our redeemer, but it is not a common word associated with humans today. For some reason I remembered Beowulf, and the lesson that I teach about family legacy and pride. The term "wergild" in anglo-saxon times literally meant, "man price" These kinsmen did not redeem - but rather sought revenge. If a family member had been killed, then it was their duty to avenge that death. Obviously this was a vicious circle and one in which love-your-neighbor and forgiveness were foreign concepts.

But Boaz was a kinsmen who sought to redeem Ruth and Naomi. These two widows who were penniless and defenseless relied on the benevolence of others in order to survive. Ruth was willing to follow behind the harvesters in order to collect enough scraps for a meal. Boaz noticed her devotion to Naomi - and he, in turn, wanted to repay that devotion himself.

Boaz was a distant kinsmen --- but he felt compelled to help.

We are brothers and sisters in Christ --- we are not distant kinsmen but co-heirs. How much more Christ is willing to redeem us than Boaz was willing to redeem Ruth. Am I willing to do what Ruth did in order to obtain this special favor?

Ruth 3:7-11 ...Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet. "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer." The Lord bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier ... And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character."

Am I willing to lay down at my master's feet - in quiet anticipation? Do I have a noble character that would cause him to take notice? Am I bold enough to ask in order that it may be given to me?

Ruth's devotion to Naomi is heart-warming. Her willingness to serve her kinsman-redeemer is a model of living that I should strive to follow.

Genesis 36-39

2011-03-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

March 7, 2011: Genesis 36-39

Another familiar story, but unfamiliar verses are brought to light.

Chapter 37 focuses on the story of Joseph. Joseph was the favored son of Jacob and given an ornamental robe as an outward indication of that favor. This of course made his brothers jealous.
Genesis 37:3-4 now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

I thought this was quite interesting. In the story of Jacob and Esau we saw that the parents played favorites - which also did not end well. Isaac preferred the rugged, outdoor Esau, whereas Rebekah preferred the quiet, domestic Jacob.

As children we would like to think that we would become different than our own parents. Discipline that we loathed as a child, and injustices that we felt we suffered, we vow we will never inflict on our own offspring. But quite often the opposite occurs: how we are raised is in turn how we will choose to raise our own. Jacob knew the pain of parental favoritism, and yet he continued to do the same with his own sons.

The most significant verses that I found in these few chapters, however, occurred towards the end of the reading. Joseph has been taken captive. His own brothers has sold him and led his father to believe that he is dead. Joseph is stripped of his prized robe and is now a slave of the Ishmaelites. If I were Joseph - I know that I would question whether the Lord had forgotten about me. I would question why the Lord had allowed this to happen. I would begin to question my faith.

But the Bible says....The Lord was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master.

So even in captivity - the Lord was with Joseph. Yes, being sold was bad, but the Lord blessed Joseph in the midst of it. ...The Lord was with him and the Lord gave him success in everything he did.

Ok --- I can grasp that. But soon after Joseph is greeted with the greatest injustice of all. The master's wife notices Joseph's good looks and decides that she would like to sleep with him. Joseph refuses. She tries again. He refuses. She grabs for him - and he runs away, leaving his cloak in her hands.

She is angry at this rejection and seeks revenge. She claims that Joseph actually tried to rape her - and her husband believes her. It is his word against hers and she wins. Joseph is now sent to prison for a crime he did not commit.

And yet....the Bible states:
Genesis 39:20b-21 ...But while Joseph was there in the prison, the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.

This verse makes me stop in my tracks. The man has been put in jail for a crime that he did not commit and yet he was able to say that the Lord showed him kindness and granted him favor? I am afraid (and ashamed to admit) that I would have lost my faith after this one. I would view the situation as the Lord would have spared me jail if He was a kind and compassionate God. I would have questioned His omnipotent power if He would allow such an injustice.

But I think this verse is showing that on this earth -- where sin is prevalent -- injustice will happen. This does not mean that God is absent or that God does not care -- this just means that we live in a fallen world and such atrocities exist. But God is God. Is our faith as sure?

I need to take a lesson from Joseph. I cannot allow my circumstances to dictate the level of my faith. I must stand on solid faith no matter the circumstances.

Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things god works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

1 Corinthians 3-4

2011-03-06T16:59:00.001-08:00

March 6, 2011: 1 Corinthians 3-4

In church this morning the pastor quoted the first two chapters of 1 Corinthians, citing that there were cliques in the church at Corinth. That seemed so strange to hear -- that cliques existed way back then -- but if I really stop to think, it truly does make sense. Isn't that the nature of humanity? We want to be unique and yet we want to fit in. We don't want to be told what to do or what to wear or how to behave --- and yet we want to be a part of the hip crowd. The verse that jumps out at me today reads:

1 Corinthians 3:2-3 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly?

My mom is dying. I am not sure how much time she has left, but I would be surprised if she will remain with us here on earth for another week. In these last days I am trying to read to her from a book that she has expressed a regret in reading earlier: Heaven by Randy Alcorn. Quite honestly the unabridged book is rather long and tedious reading (quite a lot of quotes and endnotes and just not a fluid writing style) - but there is a "sparknotes" version that sums up each chapter in about one to two pages. One of the chapters was entitled, What is NOT in Heaven. I loved reading all the things that I can looking forward to living without! One of the ideas that was expressed in this book was the fact that Heaven would not have cliques - and we would all have our heart's desire, so there would be no need for jealousy. We would all choose to put God first in all that we do so there would be no need for quarrels: our priorities would be right.

But here on earth it is so easy to slide back into the human emotions of jealousy: wanting what others have and resenting the fact that we have not. We lose sight of the fact that God should be first and we place our own desires and thoughts on the pedestal - which inevitably will contradict the selfish desires and thoughts of another.

Yes, we are worldly - I am worldly - and God calls us to live in this world but not be of this world. I have a long way to go. I feel as though I should have at least progressed to rice cereal at this point, but I am still in the formula stage of life.

Matthew 23-25

2011-03-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

March 5, 2011: Matthew 23-25

Sometimes I feel I am not smart enough to understand all the parables of Jesus. They often sound like riddles and I become easily confused: what is He really trying to say?

Chapter 23 focuses on Jesus admonishing the Pharisees. Nearly every paragraph -- that is, every few verses -- begins with: Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! I believe I counted no fewer than seven times Jesus uses this terminology in just 39 verses. I remember learning at an early age that Pharisees were bad; they were sinners and condemned Christ. I was NOT going to be a Pharisee.

But now that I am older - not necessarily wiser - I read these repeated words and wonder if perhaps Christ really is speaking to me. I am, in fact a teacher --- not a teacher of law, but I sure do like to follow the rules. In fact I have heard that there are two kinds of people in this world: those that follow the rules and those who believe that rules are meant to be broken. I can't even fathom the logic of that last statement.

I also believe that one of the cardinal rules to be followed is to tell the truth. Lies lead to destruction and I have always placed tremendous value on truth. A hypocrite says one thing but acts differently; or says one thing and believes differently: the ultimate lie. I have harbored hatred for the hypocrite for as long as I can remember. I have always strived to be an open book: what you see is what you get. So therefore, I have always reasoned, I am NOT nor ever will be, a Pharisee.

But perhaps these verses really do have something to say to me. Perhaps I need to focus on the "law" rather than on the hypocrite. Perhaps I strive too hard to keep the rules, that I lose sight of the reason for those rules. I don't necessarily believe that rules are meant to be broken -- but perhaps there should be the opportunity to have them bend a bit. While hypocrisy is bad - perhaps rigidity is equally harmful. Perhaps strict adherence to the rules snuffs out any potential for compassion or sympathy or understanding. This was certainly not the intent of any of the rules of Christ.

While these thoughts were not my original post ideas --- I thought I might discuss the parable of the talents -- it appears that these words have somehow struck a nerve. Laws are good; laws keep us safe and on the right track; but laws out of context can cause just as much harm and hurt as as when break them. Just as I wish Jesus to look at my heart - and my sincere motives for my sometimes ill-played actions --- so too I should be willing to look at the law's intent and not just its words.

Isaiah 45-50

2011-03-04T06:23:00.000-08:00

March 4, 2011: Isaiah 45-50

Once again repetition is used extensively in these chapters. Listen to me, O Jacob, Israel whom I have called...I am the Lord, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. In other words, there is really only one true God and we can be easily deceived into believing otherwise if we do not remain on guard. I remember hearing these kinds of verses as a young child attending parochial school. I remember memorizing the ten commandments, "thou shalt have no other Gods but me" and wondering who would consider worshiping another god? Who would want to create an idol out of silver, or gold, or wood and bow down in worship to that? And then I grew older and realized that idol worship is a far easier trap to fall into than I originally thought.

False idols, in essence, are anyone or anything that we put first in our life - thus removing God from that honored position. Sometimes it can feign such noble worth as our children or our ministry; sometimes it can be so trivial as the pursuit of popularity or fame. Oftentimes it is a desire for more silver or gold or the almighty dollar itself which we have convinced ourselves will buy us the peace and joy that we desperately seek.

These verses need to be repeated over and over and over again because the Lord knows our human tendency - which is to easily follow the ways of this world rather than the ways of eternal rewards.

Isaiah 46:3-4 Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

At this crucial time in my life - when my own mother is nearing the end of this life and she lies in her bed, scared of the uncertainty of her future --- while at the same time awaiting the birth of my first granddaughter who is currently being formed in the womb by the Creator's hand --- I am made aware that God is indeed Lord, Master, Healer, and Savior to all: newborns, children, parents, and grandparents. He is waiting to carry and sustain us, if we will only be willing to acknowledge His presence in our lives.

Job 17-19

2011-03-03T05:27:00.000-08:00

March 3, 2011: Job 17-19

If I understand Job correctly - his friends come to provide support and encouragement, and yet all they have to say is that apparently Job has done wrong and this is God's just punishment. Now, if this was a true statement, if Job's character had been questionable in the past, then it would be right for his friends to try to set him straight with the Lord. But Job had proven himself to be a righteous man and his friends comments seem to indicate that they know very little about Job the person.

Job has lost virtually everything in life -- material wealth, love of family and respect of friends. And at a time when he most needs the Lord to intervene - or at the very least provide spiritual comfort, He seems strangely silent. I find myself discouraged when far less catastrophic events happen in my own life; how I marvel at Job's ability to remain faithful:

Job 19:17-20 My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers. Even the little boys scorn me; when I appear they ridicule me. All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me. I am nothing but skin and bones; I have escaped with only the skin on my teeth.

Job 19:25-27 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see god; I myself will see him with my own eyes - I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

May I take comfort in the faith of Job and learn to praise the Lord despite daily circumstances.

Psalm 24-26

2011-03-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

March 2, 2011: Psalm 24-26

It occurred to me the other day how blessed I am to be teaching at Christ Prep Academy. I remember when we first became Christian - and money was tight - and the threat of having to return to the workplace rather than staying home to raise the children was a constant concern --- and I often thought the perfect job would be to work for the church: to be surrounded by fellow believers all day long; to listen to uplifting worship music and to be encouraged to stay in the word.

I know that the Bible teaches us to be light to a darkened world - to be Christ in the marketplace - but I was certain that my Christian walk was too new for me to any kind of light at all. Now here I am, twenty years later, and I am in a career that I never knew I wanted but which I could now never give up - and I am surrounded by God-fearing believers who help me to maintain my faith rather than corrode it. I am still not secure enough in my own faith to be an effective witness in a secular job, and how grateful I am that the Lord knows my weaknesses better than I do myself. He has chosen to place me in an environment that uses my talents to serve his kingdom while at the same time encouraging me in my own Christian discipleship.

The following verses summarize these most recent thoughts:
Psalm 26:4-5 I do not sit with deceitful men, nor do I consort with hypocrites; I abhor the assembly of evildoers and refuse to sit with the wicked

While I was struck with how the Psalms can reiterate my personal thoughts, I am also in awe of how they can voice my personal desire. I should adopt these verses as my personal prayer for 2011:
Psalm 25:4-5; 7 Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. ... Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.

Judges 17-21

2011-03-01T04:32:00.000-08:00

March 1, 2011: Judges 17-21

I try to teach my English students not to be redundant in writing - unless of course they wish to make a point. Repetition of a key word of phrase for rhetorical purposes is highly effective.

Judges 18:1 In those days Israel had no king.

Judges 19:1 In those days Israel had no king.

Judges 21:25 In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.

I must admit that the primary story told in these chapters failed to truly capture my attention. Well, that is not exactly true; it is impossible not to be riveted to a story where a young girl is given to a group of invaders in order to be defiled and then revenge is sought for these actions, but I had a difficult time discerning the underlining message for my own life (once again I am looking forward to re-reading these same verses next year using the Amplified Bible). However when the very last words of the entire book reiterate the sentiments that had already been twice repeated --- I took notice.

In those days Israel had no king, everyone did as he saw fit.

Rules can be confining and sometimes there is the human tendency to rebel, "Don't tell me what to do." But it has only been since being a parent that I have realized the value of human leadership in my Christian walk. Our one purpose while on this earth is to follow and do the Lord's will. In other words, to obey his rules. He desires to be, in fact, the Lord of our life -- the King of all kings. But how can we learn to obey what cannot be seen? How can we learn to follow commands of a still small voice? Only by learning to follow the rules of a somewhat louder, more vocal, authority.

We expect young children to do as they see fit --- they are self-absorbed and do not understand the purpose of such 'arbitrary" rules like Look both ways before you cross the street and Do your homework before you watch television. Yet as young children grow and mature and learn the ways of the world, they begin to realize that such arbitrary rules indeed have purpose. Chasing a ball into the street without looking could result in a fatal injury; watching television instead of doing homework could result in poor grades and limited employment opportunities.

But how often do we as children yearn to grow up and mature and leave home. Leave the authority of someone telling us what to do. It is a parents' desire that once the child reaches this age that the training he received at home will carry through to the rest of his life: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. But too often the independent human spirit yearns to follow selfish desires and becomes rather easy to ignore that still small voice of the Lord -- to the point that we no longer even hear it. We in essence become Israelites, creating our own idols of silver and gold, or iPads and BMWs. We become a nation unto ourselves with no ruler and no moral compass.

It is my desire, dear Lord, that I learn to not only hear that still small voice, but to discern that voice from the other voices in my head. That once I know that my King is instructing me, that I immediately obey the command and discontinue doing only what I see as fit. Rules are good. I have seen that as a parent, now please let me see that as a child of God.

Genesis 32-35

2011-02-28T04:24:00.000-08:00

February 28, 2011: Genesis 32-35

I must confess that I have always been confused by the chapter that discusses Jacob wrestling with God. For me it seems to come out of the blue. When I think of 'wrestling' with God, I think of it figuratively, as in the Lord is asking me to do something that I do not want to do --- or to give up something that I wish to hold onto - and I am struggling with obedience by rationalizing my viewpoint. In these verses it doesn't appear, at least at first glance, that Jacob is considering disobedience. He is fearful of meeting his brother, but he is going to do it anyway. He is willing to appease his brother's anger by giving him gifts prior to their visit.

But perhaps the key lies in the fact that Jacob has sent everything ahead --- the servants with the gifts, his family, and his possessions. They have all crossed the stream and Jacob is left alone. Perhaps it is in this period of solitude that Jacob has reconsidered. Perhaps he is tempted to stay on this side of the stream, rather than moving forward to his destiny.

Previous verses tell us of Jacob's fear:
Genesis 32:11-12 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.'

I was struck by this simple prayer for a number of reasons. First of all, Jacob is willing to admit his fear. In thinking back to the story of these two brothers, I think Jacob has a reason for being hesitant to meet his brother again after all these years. After all, he deceived his brother from the birthright as well as the blessing. What God had intended in the first place had been orchestrated by humans rather than the divine. His brother was always the outdoor type, stronger and capable of surviving on his own in the wilderness. Jacob was always the quiet type, who preferred to remain inside and busy himself with domestic things. Jacob knew that if Esau sought revenge, he would succeed.

BUT...Jacob does not allow his fear to forget the promises of God. And while he is uncertain of survival once he comes face to face with Esau, he does take comfort in the fact that God has told him of his certain prosperity. Jacob has been a follower of God long enough to know that God's word is truth. That it is unchanging and never failing.

Perhaps alone on this side of the ford Jacob allows his memories to overshadow these promises for just a moment. Perhaps he tries to put himself in Esau's shoes and realizes that if he had been treated the same way, he would not be so willing to forgive. It is easier for Satan to come and attack us when we are alone - for we only have our mind to help fend the enemy. He knows how to attack and often uses discouragement as a foothold for victory. Perhaps Jacob was focusing more on his unreliable emotions at this time of night, rather on the certainty of God's word.

In any case, this wrestling continued throughout the night, but by daybreak the struggle ceased. Jacob was left with a wrenched hip, but the battle was over. With the morning light the decision was made clear. How often is that the case with me. Struggling with God is exhausting, and it leaves me tired and worn out. But when it is over the darkness is lifted, the outlook is clear, and the Lord's promises indeed come true.

I would like to be more like Jacob of chapter 32 --- willing to voice my fear and concern, but relying on God's truth to prevail. I would like to be less like the Jacob of chapter 33 --- worrying about the future and wrestling with God over possible next steps, when I know the right thing to do all along. Just do it. And allow God to bring about His perfect will. This trusting lifestyle would allow me to sleep better at night and be less exhausted during the day. A lifestyle I greatly desire.

1 Corinthians 1-2

2011-02-27T07:51:00.000-08:00

February 27, 2011: 1 Corinthians 1-2

I do not consider myself an intellectual - but I do value intellect. When I took the Myers-Briggs test I discovered (not surprisingly) that I scored "high" on T (thinking) and relatively "low" of F (feeling). After taking that test I began to listen to myself and discovered that I say more often "I think such-and-such" rather than "I feel such-and-such" Most of my free time activities are spent in academic pursuits. I would rather read and study about a hobby than actually do the hobby. I would love to research an author and read commentary about a novel about as much as I enjoy the novel itself.

So the verses that I read this morning were of direct importance - and they made me realize why I struggle so with faith.

1 Corinthians 1:19 and 22-23 I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate. ... Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles. ...

1 Corinthians 2:13-14 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

I read scripture and listen to sermons with the intellect of man. Scripture says that God's intellect serves to frustrate me. Scripture says that God's truth is hidden from those who do not possess the spirit of God.

For the longest time I would equate this sense of foolishness with a loss of salvation (or a question of never being saved in the first place). I no longer allow myself to go down that path of discouragement and spiritual destruction. I know that I am saved. I know that I have accepted Christ as my Savior.

Rather, when I start to feel foolish for believing these unseen truths - I know that I am allowing my human intellect to override my spiritual council. I give more credence to the things of this earth than to the things of heaven. I need to begin to have the same tenacity about this area of my life as I have about my questions of salvation. I need to start "putting Satan behind me" when I start to feel foolish for believing in Christian precepts. I need to know that the wisdom from above is not to be understand by those of the earth - and if I want to be one His children, then I need to allow myself to feel foolish - and persevere in faith anyway.

Matthew 20-21

2011-02-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

February 26, 2011: Matthew 20-21

The Bible that I am reading is one that illustrates the words of Christ in red ink. A large part of chapter 20 is written in red - but there is one brief section, verses 29-34, that is written in black - which makes the words of Jesus stand out even more:
Matthew 20:32 ...What do you want me to do for you?

When I read those words this morning it was as though I came face-to-face with my savior and He asked me point blank, "What is it, Molly, that you want me to do for you?" And I was speechless.

I can think of numerous requests that I have of life - but when asked to verbalize those to Christ they all become so trivial.

I almost feel as though I have rubbed the magic lamp and have been granted three wishes. It isn't that I can't think of three things - it is that I want those three things to be most significant. What do I really want from Christ? Do I want peace? yes. Do I want financial security? yes. Do I want time to discover my talents and learn to express myself? yes. But are these really the kinds of requests that I want to make to Jesus? probably not. I think I would request that He be able to accept me - and in turn, help me to accept myself. That is what I want.

Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer
Yes, I do believe but please help my unbelief. Please help me to see you for who you really are - to see you for the compassion that you have for men, and not as the perfectionist who tries to find fault in me; and in turn, help me to see myself as your Creation - one who is not perfect, but rather, one who is perfectly loved.

Isaiah 40-44

2011-02-25T04:36:00.000-08:00

February 25, 2011: Isaiah 40-44

I remember attending a teacher conference and hearing that repetition is key to learning. For example, it often takes a gifted child hearing a new concept seven times before he has mastered it; for those of us who are not so blessed, it takes far longer.

As I read these verses of Isaiah I noticed that the prophet continued to repeat himself. First he would discuss the Lord's faithfulness to his chosen people, then he would recount the Lord's wrath towards those who reject Him. But as I continued to read this same message over and over again, I began to realize that what is constantly repeated is often done so for emphasis: this is something that I need to hear and not only that, I need to internalize it and truly understand it. That requires repetition.

As I have voiced so many times before, I don't have a problem internalizing the wrath of God - that has overshadowed my image of him for decades. So what I feel that I need to focus on today is the love that God has for his chosen people --- me.

Here are but a few verses that I chose to meditate on this morning:
Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting god, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Yes, these verses are quoted often in pastors' messages, but they are like a welcomed massage to my tired aching body. Yes, I am human and goodness knows I am no longer young --- and yet even the youth of today grow tired and weary after a while. But our God never tires and His unfailing strength and perseverance is available to us.

Isaiah 40:26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by me, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one f them is missing.

Isaiah 41:9-10 I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, "You are my servant"; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

It is so very difficult for me to get my head around the fact that the God of the universe, the One who not only created the heavens but calls each one of the stars by name - has also called me. That He not only knows my mind, but my heart. That he knows the number of hairs of my head - and that He cares for me. He has promised to strengthen me when I am weak, and to help me when I am in need. If God is for me - then truly what do I fear or worry about??

Isaiah 41:17-18 The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the god of Israel, will not forsake them. I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs.

Not only has God chosen me - not only does He care for me and promise to protect me - but there is no problem to big that He cannot handle. If He can turn a desert into a pool of water for the thirsty, then I can certainly trust Him to do what needs to be done in my own life.

Job 15-16

2011-02-24T04:24:00.000-08:00

February 24, 2011: Job 15-16

Today's lesson is one that I need to take to heart:
Job 16:7; 16-17; 20 Surely, O God, you have worn me out; you have devastated my entire household...My face is red with weeping, deep shadows ring my eyes; yet my hands have been free of violence and my prayer is pure;...My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God.

Life is hard. Life is not fair. We all must endure trials. These are little quips that are spoken to us from a young age. And while truthful, I somehow expect that if I am "good enough" my life will be free from the injustices and heartaches of the world. These unrealistic expectations set me for great disappointment and I then channel that disappointment into discouragement with God. I reason that if He is the God of the universe, then He could have prevented this problem, trial, calamity. Therefore either He doesn't really exist and/or care about me, or I am not good enough.

Such false logic sets me at odds with my Creator. And my trials are never as great as those endured and suffered by Job. And yet Job maintains composure. Is he upset? Yes. Does he question why? Yes. Does he allow that questioning to extend to the existence of God? No. Does he allow these trials to discourage him from praying to the Lord? Absolutely not. In fact, it is even during the hardest of times, when not only his family is harmed and his health attacked, but when his friends begin to question his character, that Job maintains his prayers are pure. He seeks comfort in the fact that there is indeed an intercessor pleading his case before the Lord and he holds true to the fact that the Lord never forsakes those who love and follow His commands.

A lesson learned --- and I am grateful that the Lord chose to preserve Job's story for posterity so that we may all learn to keep the faith despite earthly circumstances.

Psalm 21-23

2011-02-23T04:36:00.000-08:00

February 23, 2011: Psalm 21-23

I look forward to Wednesdays for a number of reasons: it is hump day and I know that I am that much closer to the weekend; the grocery circulars are released and I can see what is on sale to plan weekend meals; and the daily Bible reading is Psalms, which always provides food for thought and spiritual water for a thirsty soul. Today's readings were especially wonderful and I hope to have the opportunity to re-read these chapters throughout the day.

Psalm 21 focuses on the faithfulness of the Lord throughout the generations, but I especially hide verse two in my heart:
Psalm 21:2 You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips.

When I was first a Christian I would hear that the Lord grants us the desires of our heart, but I wasn't sure that I believed that was true for everyone. We were unemployed at the time and it seemed that the desire of my heart was rather humble - that Geoff would find a job that would support our family. Eventually that did happen, but as I said, I was a new Christian and I expected the desire to be filled instantaneously. Not that I envision God as a spiritual Santa Claus - but if He did know our every need then He would realize the dire straights we were in.

However, after two decades of following the Lord - and experiencing life - I can attest that God does grant us the desires of our heart -- in His time. I have always loved travel - from the time I was a little girl I would dream of taking trips in the airplane to fun and exotic places. I had a small taste of that in high school when I went to France, and I vowed that I would see more of Europe as an adult. Well, approximately 25 years later, while teaching English of all things, I did have the opportunity to visit France and England. It was a glorious time and I soon realized that my desire to travel had not disappeared but rather had lain dormant until God's timing provided a way for it to come true.

I still have a desire to travel - and a desire to express myself creatively - and I know that in His time and in His way, these dreams will indeed come true. Praise be to God.

*****

Psalm 22 starts off with a bang - and is drastically different from the previous Psalm. The raw emotion of David's heart is quite evident - and echoes sentiments that I have felt many times:
Psalm 22:1-2 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but y0u do not answer, by night, and am not silent.

There are so many times when I feel so all alone. When I do pray to God - I do go to church - I do surround myself with Christian friends, and I still feel as though he has forgotten me. It is so reassuring to know that even David felt this way. It is human.

However, it is what we do in our human-ness that is of importance. I could feel as though God is distant, but I must also know that feelings are not truth. Even though I feel alone, I must continue to have faith and trust God's word -- that He is present, just silent --- and there is a reason for His silence.

Rather than doubt God - I should do as David does in the next verse:
Psalm 22:3-5 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel. In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

When I feel alone and do not have the strength to continue - I must look back at the faithfulness of God through all generations and trust that the God of my forefathers is also my God. That the God of the past is also the God of present.

***

The 23rd Psalm is probably one of the most popular and well-known Psalms around. I even teach this Psalm as an introduction to Poetry analysis. It would be quite easy to read the Psalm with my eyes, but just skim over it with my heart. After all, I do have it memorized.

But in today's reading the following verses jumped out and grabbed me:
Psalm 23:2-3a He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

Peace. It is what I truly long for. I am so busy - and responsible - and weary. These verses are not just a suggestion to take it easy -- they are a command. God MAKES me lie down in green pastures. Rest and relaxation are absolutely essential to the spirit filled life. And if I am not going to take the time myself, then God will find a way to MAKE me do it. For it is only through these quiet times - that not only is the body physically repaired but the soul is spiritually restored.

It is a command of the Lord to take it easy - to stop being controlled by the busyness and start being led by God. Images of green pastures and quiet waters is reminiscent of the other poem I teach, Lonely as a Cloud by William Wordsworth:

I wandered lonely as a cloud

that floats on high o'er vales and hills

When all at once I a crowd

A host of golden daffodils

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

...For oft when on the couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood

They flash upon that inward eye,

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

Judges 12-16

2011-02-22T04:38:00.000-08:00

February 22, 2011: Judges 12-16

When I was younger I attended a private school in Houston. My early, formative years, Kindergarten - 5th grade, was spent at this conservative, parochial school. We went to chapel every day and our history textbook was the Bible.

I distinctly remember studying Exodus and being so disgusted with the Israelites. God delivered them out of captivity and they complained they didn't have food. God provided manna and they complained it was the same thing day after day. God protected them from their enemies and they abandoned Him to worship false idols. I simply could not understand why God considered them His people.

And then I grew up. And I realized that I am an Israelite. How often I take my own security for granted, sometimes even taking credit for it myself. God has provided me with a nice home, clean clothes, and a healthy family, and yet I continue to wish I had more. How often have I ignored God in my daily life, choosing instead to worship my own schedule or the desires of my heart.

While these scriptures today focus on the story of Samson and his divine strength (and ultimately his fall due to his desire for Delilah) - I again focused on a rather small, obscure verse:
Judges 13:1 Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, so the Lord delivered them into the hands of the philistines for forty years.

Again --- it not only happened in Exodus, but here we are in Judges and the Israelites have still not learned the lesson. And again, our jealous God seeks to punish them for their transgressions. But while I have always focused on the repetitive sins of Israel, knowing full well that I am just as guilty and therefore deserving of the wrath of God rather than His love, I noticed something else about this verse that I have overlooked before.

Yes, God is just and when the Israelites disobeyed they had to punished --- but it does not say for eternity. It says for forty years. God did not become so frustrated with them that He condemned them forever, but rather the punishment was for a finite period of time. Just as any loving parent would try to correct the wayward ways of a child with discipline - so our God tries to correct us.

This is the first time that I noticed the compassion for His people in the midst of his disappointment and wrath. Yes, He desires that we follow Him always and obey His commands; but He is also willing to give us another chance if we confess our sins and seek forgiveness with a contrite heart.

Genesis 28-31

2011-02-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

February 21, 2011: Genesis 28-31

These chapters focus on the familiar story of Jacob working for Laban in exchange for his daughter Rachel. I am rather familiar with that story and understand that this was the beginning of the twelve tribes of Israel: all fathered by Jacob with the mothers being Leah, her maidservant, Rachel, and her maidservant.

Yet the verse that I read that continued to stay with me for a while was found in the chapters preceding this familiar story:
Genesis 28:20-22 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "if God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."

To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time that the tithe has been mentioned. I remember that God demanded the sacrifices of Caan and Able, but I am not sure that the tenth was mentioned. In either case, this is what stood out to me today.

Just this weekend I was convicted of my intense materialism. I have been pondering the trust and the money that will soon come to use upon Mom's death. I don't really like to think about such things while she is alive, and yet if I don't give some prudent thought to it now, I am afraid that I will make foolish decisions later.

I have thought about our financial responsibilities - and how to use the money to better the credit situation. I have thought of saving the money in the hopes that it would be useful in our retirement and (hopefully) allow us to leave some kind of inheritance for the children. I have thought of using a portion of the money of much needed home repairs - and much needed vacations.

And this weekend it hit me: not once have I given thought to giving money to the church. And I was instantly saddened. How did I become so materialistic?

And so I now I claim this verse of Jacob -- that I vow since God has watched over me these many years and He has provided foot to eat and clothes to wear, I will give him a tenth of all the inheritance FIRST - and then I will seek His wisdom in knowing what to do with the remaining 90%.

Romans 15-16

2011-02-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

February 20, 2011: Romans 15-16

These last two chapters of Romans serve as a good-bye from Paul as he leaves for other ministries.

During these final instructions and farewells, there was one small verse that caught my attention:
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I am immediately drawn to the words "fill you with joy and peace" -- simply music to my ears. I feel exhausted with responsibility these days and I long for a true sense of peace. The turmoil of life right now is anything but joyful. But the circumstances of life should not dictate these deep emotions. Why do they elude me so? It is rather simply stated: as you trust in him.

It always seems to come down to simple trust and faith, but my doubting mind always questions. When will I ever fully comprehend that God is in complete control and He truly does care.

I am grateful for these daily Bible readings as they begin to dispel my doubts and replace them with the security that God does indeed love me and He will provide for my future.

Matthew 17-19

2011-02-19T07:22:00.000-08:00

February 19, 2011: Matthew 17-19

Again, so much information in just three short chapters. I could easily focus on the verses that discuss money - and how difficult it is for the rich man to enter Heaven - but I think I will save that for another day.

Today I wish to focus on these verses:
Matthew 18:1-4 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He (Jesus) called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

While Jesus is discussing the humility of an innocent child - I think I want to try to extrapolate this a bit further. Yes, the disciples were focused on pride - who is the best - but putting pride aside, I think the bottom line is that the disciples were focused on comparison. How well do I follow Christ as compared to others. I do believe some use comparison because of pride - they want and feel the need to be the best - but I do think there are others, like myself, who compare for the opposite reason: we are not prideful but rather we are lacking self-esteem. I don't necessarily want to be the best - I just want to be sure that I am good enough. As is usually the case, I choose the one whom I think is "perfect" to use as a measuring stick; and I always fall short.

I think I can properly interpret these scriptures to say --- stop the comparison roller coaster. Little children don't compare - they just do. They don't think about there being a "right" way to worship - or a "right" way to create - they just start worshiping and creating. They receive joy by doing these things unencumbered by worry of doing it right.

I am truly exhausted by trying to do everything right - everything perfect. I struggle with this in the workplace (I want the perfect lesson plan that is not only educational but engaging and has ALL students excited to learn); at home (I want the clean house and the perfect children --- I want to be available to Geoff and Mandy and at the present - Mom - when they need me, and yet I so desperately want time to call my own); in my free time (I have so many interests I want to pursue but I don't start any of them because I want to "paint" right - I want to sew "right" - I want to write "right"); and in my worship (I want to pray "right" - I want to have proper devotions). There is not joy in trying to be "right" all the time. I want joy.

So many of the creative expression books that I have read lately discuss an exercise where you try to remember back to childhood --- what made you happy - what did you enjoy doing. It is strongly encouraged to reconnect with that younger self and learn to let of perfection and just express yourself in the way that is right for you. I think the Bible is confirming this exercise.

Think back to younger days, Molly - when the responsibility of life had not yet taken a foothold. What did you enjoy doing? What brought joy and happiness to you? Can I do that? Can I remember that far back and learn to become like a child again -- not just in my relationship with Christ, but with my relationship with me?

Isaiah 34-39

2011-02-18T04:32:00.000-08:00

February 18, 2011: Isaiah 34-39

I spent some time with Mom yesterday evening. She has voiced several times her regret for not having read the book, Heaven by Randy Alcorn. Heather Mahon and her mom had loaned their copy to Mom last summer because it brought such peace to their lives when her sister/daughter died at such a young age.

I do not have a good bedside manner. I have never been good at chit chat. But I do love to read, and I thought perhaps this was God's way of showing me how I might be able to help Mom during these last days. So I started reading the book to her last night. It is quite long and somewhat cumbersome (so many footnotes and quotes from other sources that often it takes the reader out of the narrative) - but it was also quite interesting. In that first chapter the author discusses the lack of information on Heaven. There are ample resources discussing the end of times and the hell that is reserved for non-believers, but precious little is said about Heaven. No wonder Mom is so anxious -- she has no idea what to expect. I am curious to read what this author has to say about our eternal resting place as well.

I did not find it coincidental at all that today's reading briefly discusses this same topic. That would be so like God - to give us a simple sign that we are on the track and to persevere. In Isaiah 34 there are numerous verses of the destruction that will take place for those who abandoned God. In fact the title that the NIV gives this particular chapter is Judgment Against the Nations. I wanted to skim this portion --- just as my mother, I have no problem conjuring the images of the damned. I spent far too many years focusing on this angry God. Instead, I was longing to read something about the love of God and the provisions He has made for his people.

My desires were met in the very next chapter, which is entitled, Joy of the Redeemed. Some of the verses that clearly spoke to me include:
Isaiah 35:5-7 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs.

I think we can easily replace these illnesses with anything form of disease that is experienced in the world today. In Mom's case, the heart will be healed and the lungs will be clear.

And then there is the brief image of Heaven:
Isaiah 35:10 They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

I have tried to relieve some of Mom's anxiety by saying there are no tears in Heaven. And here is the proof: sorrow and sighing give way to everlasting joy.

Job 13-14

2011-02-17T04:35:00.000-08:00

February 17, 2011: Job 13-14

I have indicated before that Job is sometimes confusing for me. I think I understand the premise: that Satan has thrown down the gauntlet, claiming that there is no one on earth who would remain faithful to the Lord if all possessions and good health are taken away. God defends Job - and as a result He allows Satan to attack.

The book of Job then chronicles Job's walk through this time of seemingly desertion of the Lord from His life. His three well-meaning friends come to try to relieve his pain, but their misconceptions of his life and relationship to the Lord does nothing but frustrate Job. I particularly enjoyed Job's response to one friend's advice:
Job 13:5 If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

I first read that verse and smiled - in fact, wrote the smiley face in my Bible, But upon meditation, there is a lot of wisdom in those few words. Not only are there times when I wish others would show discernment through silence, but there are many times that I should heed that advice as well.

I also found a verse that at least for me should guide my own prayers to the Lord. Job truly believes that he is a godly man and has not veered off the path of righteousness, but he is willing to ask:
Job 13:23 How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Show me my offense and my sin.

I do not claim to have the same righteous life as Job - far from it - but I do think there are times when I sin and perhaps do not even recognize the sinful ways. This is a good prayer to remember: confess all our sins -- those that we know we have committed as well as those to which we are oblivious. If we ask, He will be faithful to show us.

And finally - I am touched again by the thought that God truly delights in us and longs for relationship with us:
Job 14:14-15 If a man dies, will he live again? All the days of my hard service I will wait for my renewal to come. You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made.

I think what I glean from these verses is that relationship on earth as well as in heaven is symbiotic: If we call upon the Lord in faith - He will respond. And consequently it is expected that when He calls us, we will also respond in kind. Relationships are two way streets and when both parties are willing to give quality as well as quantity time in developing that relationship, then true longing for one another's company is a natural outcome.

Psalm 18-20

2011-02-16T09:38:00.000-08:00

February 16, 2011: Psalm 18-20

Psalm 18 sounds to me like it is more of a personal Psalm for David rather than a Psalm that I would find quotable in my own life. Several of the verses focus on battles and delivering enemies and reclaiming nations. However, one short line - almost buried with the action scenes - truly spoke to me:

Psalm 18:19 He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

I love this verse for a couple of reasons. First of all - "brought out into a spacious place" I think the verb to bring out leads me to believe that I am inside - perhaps trapped in a small cell - and bringing out is the feeling of freedom. In addition, freedom in a spacious place. For some reason I immediately imagine a large, green meadow filled with dandelions. It is a sunny day - just a few clouds in the sky - and I have all the time in the world to just lay back and daydream or read or glory in the Lord's providence. This entire line brings to mind great tranquility and peace.

From the next sentence - the word rescued once again confirms the image of being caged in and now experiencing freedom. But it is not so much rescued that catches my attention but rather the reason WHY I am rescued: because He -- the Lord God Almighty - actually delights in me. Not that he just likes me - or is pleased with me - or is proud of me -- but he delights in me. I bring a smile to his face. He enjoys spending time with me. When I delight in something I don't want the time to end. And while I am spending time it is as though thought an hour is but a short minute. It is incomprehensible that God would actually feel that way about me.

The following Psalm is an example of lyrical writing - and how the beauty of words can be appreciated as much as the message that they convey:
Psalm 19:7-11
The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statues of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Judges 7-11

2011-02-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

February 15, 2011: Judges 7-11

I am so thankful that God included a character like Gideon in the Bible.

Last week I read about Gideon's doubts. He wanted to believe - and yet he had a difficult time accepting the Lord's direction without some kind of visual proof. The opposite of true faith - accepting things that cannot be seen - but nevertheless, a valuable story for the doubting souls of the 21st century like myself.

In Judges 6 Gideon voices some doubt as he looks around at circumstances and questions the existence of the God of his forefathers:
Judges 6:13 "But sir," Gideon replied, "if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian."

How so like me! It is not that I deny God's provision of others - and of past times - but when I look at present circumstances that appear impossible, or quite difficult at the very least, I begin to question that the God of old could still perform such miracles in today's times.

God responds to Gideon by saying "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"

And Gideon - bless his heart - responds with an immediate "are you sure you have the right guy?"
Judges 6:15 "But Lord," Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.... If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me."

Again, how so typical of a response I would have? Oh really, God? I truly think you have made some mistake. Don't you know that I am one of the weakest? Don't you know that I don't possess that particular talent? OF COURSE HE DOES -- and yet, I constantly question.

Ok - so IF you think you know me, then show me a sign so that I know I am not just hearing voices in my head. In fact, more than once does Gideon ask for a sign -- and each time God provides what Gideon's request.
Judges 6:36 - 38 "If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised - look I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have aid. And that is what happened.

Judges 6:39-40 "Do not be angry with me. let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew." That night God did so.

Thank you Jesus for showing me a godly character like Gideon --- whom you love despite his doubts. Help me to overcome my own doubts and be more willing to accept your promises - sight unseen.

Genesis 24-27

2011-02-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

February 14, 2011: Genesis 24-27

Isn't it good that the Bible gives us stories of "normal" dysfunctional families and God still blesses and uses them? I know that I take comfort in the fact that my own family can still be blessed by the Almighty despite our imperfections.

The story of Isaac's family is fraught with normalcy and does not present us with the perfect righteous family.

When Jacob and Esau are born the parents immediately play favorites:
Genesis 25:28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

It is in all the parenting books -- do not play favorites. Love each child the same -- don't necessarily treat them exactly the same for we are all individuals, but the love should be equal. But here we have two parents who over time obviously began to show their favoritism to each of their children - and we can be sure that the children knew this and felt jealous of one another.

Then once again it is the female character in the Bible that creates the problems -- that reacts in haste rather than respond in patience: first Eve and now Rebekah. Rebekah overhears Isaac promise Jacob a blessing. Even though Rebekah had been told that the older would serve the younger - God had made this promise to her even before the boys were born -- she decided to take matters into her own hand. Preparing Isaac's favorite meal and dressing Jacob in Esau's borrowed clothes - Isaac is convinced that he has blessed his eldest son.

And yet...both Adam and Isaac had doubts. Adam knew that he was not to eat the apple, and yet he allowed himself to be persuaded by Eve. Isaac had an inkling that the man who brought the stew was not Esau - and yet he allowed himself to be persuaded rather than to trust his own judgment.

When Esau discovers the trickery he is angry - perhaps rightfully so - and he says:
Genesis 27:36 ... Isn't he rightly named Jacob? He has deceived me these two times: he took my birthright, and now he's taken my blessing!

But as I interpret the verses regarding the birthright --- Esau allowed himself to be deceived. He was hungry and he wanted to eat. He was not dying of hunger, as he so dramatically exclaimed, but he was hungry and he allowed his fleshly desire take control of his body. In fact it is said in Genesis 25:34b So Esau despised his birthright. So while Jacob was indeed deceitful, Esau is not an innocent bystander.

Now we have two brothers angry with one another; Rebekah is afraid of losing both sons in one fight; and Jacob now must be sent away for his own protection.

Yes, all works out in the end. Jacob is indeed the blessed one of God and his descendants lead us to Christ -- but how much easier it might have been if this family had lived life the way God intended rather than taking matters into their own hands.

God does not need help. He needs us to do our part - but He does not need us to help him out in a tight spot. I must strive to remember that God's way is always the easier way - even if I do not see how He is going to bring about His promises.

Romans 13-14

2011-02-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

February 13, 2011: Romans 13-14

I have struggled with this aspect of "Christianity" since I first started attending College Church. I think this is an area where the laws of men circumvent the word of the Lord.

Chapter 14 begins by saying:
Romans 14: 1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.

Sometimes I think the Christian community is the most judgmental group of people on the face of the earth. Most of us, I would like to think, do this without malicious intent. We have been programmed to follow the commandments and do what is right because we love Christ, so that when we see others behave in a way that is adverse to this, we want to set them straight; we want them to understand the commands of the Lord as we do. However, what we don't realize is that all too often these sincere desires manifest themselves into a Holier than Thou attitude which clearly has the opposite effect.

I remember teaching at Southland Academy and one particular parent was so offended that I had her student research the Immortality Pill. She didn't bother to ask why I might have students research this item; she didn't bother to think positive of me -- but rather she chose to judge me and my faith by this one assignment. It was quite hurtful to me.

We must be careful that our attitudes that we express so loudly to others is Christ centered and not dogma centered.

Instead, the Bible tells us to:
Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.

STOP. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. My shortcoming may be your long suit, and vice versa, but that does not give either one of us the right to pass judgment. Accept one another - and by acceptance it does not mean begin behaving in a way that we feel is not right just because someone else does it -- it means being true to ourselves and allow the Lord to work on others' hearts.

Since coming to College Church I have never known how to broach the subject of alcoholic beverages. I know that the Bible says no drunkenness --- but I also know that it does not say anything about abstinence either. While I understand the verse:
Romans 14:20,21 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

So if by drinking alcohol in front of others causes the ill feelings - or causes them to stumble in their Christian walk, then I should abstain out of love and respect for them.

However.....in my own house - if drinking wine or alcoholic beverage does not cause me to stumble; if I have not been convicted by the Holy Spirit to give up this behavior, then it is not ordained by God that this is wrong; it is ordained by the little black book written by men.

Drunkenness is a sin Drinking in moderation is not.
Drinking to satisfy the desires of the sinful nature is sin (Romans 13:14) - but drinking because we enjoy the taste of drink is not,

Ultimately the verses to guide this aspect of life are found in
Romans 14:22-23 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Matthew 14-16

2011-02-13T11:23:00.000-08:00

February 12, 2011: Matthew 14-16

Chapter 14 focuses on the beheading of John the Baptist. John was a personal friend of Jesus, their mothers had been pregnant together, and John testified of Jesus' coming. It was because of his testimony that he was beheaded.

The Bible says that John's disciples took his body, buried it, and then told Jesus the sad news.

Matthew 14:13-14 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

I am struck by these verses for two reasons. First of all, when Jesus was hurting - he desired to seek solitude - to get away from the fray and compose himself. Some people, when presented with devastating news, like to be surrounded by friends and family; they like to openly discuss their emotions and feelings. But Jesus preferred to quietly seek solitude during his time of emotional turmoil. This is just like me. While I am sure that Jesus sought the Lord through prayer, I tend to seek inward analysis through thought. I would like to think, however, that these "thoughts" are my own way of praying. To let the Lord hear what I am thinking, feeling, and to give Him an opportunity to meet me where I am. I trust that through this time of personal introspection that I am really hearing the still small voice of my heavenly Father.

The other thing that struck me in this verse, however, is that despite Jesus' attempt at being alone and dealing with his own personal grief -- he was still willing to meet with others and have compassion on their souls. This I am not so readily able to imitate in my own life. When I am in need of solitude and introspection, I tend to view each interruption as disruptive and I immediately resent whoever the intruder might be. I have a difficult time discerning whose hurt is worse - and I wish for a barricaded wall to be erected. This is NOT in keeping with Jesus' model.

While dealing with my own issues of Mom's health, my own aging process, and my reassessment of what is truly important in life, I need to be careful not to abandon other relationships. I need to do what Jesus has shown us in this chapter. Find the privacy and solitude - but be open to ways of showing love and compassion to the rest of the world as well.

Isaiah 29-33

2011-02-12T07:52:00.000-08:00

February 11, 2011: Isaiah 29-33

I am still a day behind, but hope to catch up tomorrow.

It has been an exhausting week of dealing with Mom. She seems to be rebounding - she has a set back; the doctor releases her to hospice - she comes home with home health; I spend two hours yesterday meeting her and the home health nurse to try to have her tell us what she wants - she refuses. I am weary....

And so perhaps that is why I honed in on these verses in today's scripture reading:

Isaiah 30: 15 ...In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

Isaiah 32:17-18 In the fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.

PEACE - QUIETNESS - UNDISTURBED -- all these words are like a soothing balm to my open wounds. I feel as though all I do is work: if it is not at school, it is grading papers; if it is not dealing with Mom it is dealing with other "children" and the drama of their lives; if it is not housework, it is errands. I just want to scream for the world to stop for a few minutes - or hours - or weeks --- and just let me catch my breath. Let me be me -- whoever that might be.

But the problem is not the world's fast paced whirling - the problem is me. If I am not willing to make the quiet moments for repentance and Bible reading (which is where trust will be developed) then I cannot hope to become the righteous person that God has created us all to be. And if I do not seek to become righteous - to put God first - to allow Him to direct my paths and TRUST Him that all the priorities of life will be taken care of -- then I will never experience the peaceful, undisturbed places of rest which are promised.

How often - in my perfectionism - do I fall into the trap that is so clearly described in this verse (the distant third person of the scriptures I have changed to the personal first person pronouns):

Isaiah 29:15 I come near to the Lord with my mouth and honor Him with my lips, but my heart is far from Him. My worship of the Almighty is made up only of rules taught by men.

I am a rule follower. I create checklists all the time and measure my success and therefore my worth by how many items I have been able to cross off in the course of a day. Have I not treated worship the same way? Do devotions - check. Say prayers - check. Go to church on Sunday - check. But is this the kind of worship that the Lord seeks? I think He would rather me just come to me as I am - at any time of day or night - and talk openly and frankly with Him. Confessing my sins, yes ... but also sharing my doubts and concerns and worries. Lay them at His feet and allow Him some control in my life.

Do I want peace? More than anything.

Then I think I know what I need to do....

Job 11-12

2011-02-11T04:21:00.000-08:00

February 10, 2011: Job 11-12

Well, today is actually the 11th which means that I am a day behind the Bible reading; it has just been one of those weeks. I do plan to catch up this weekend.

I find it interesting - coincidental - providential - that the week when I feel most overwhelmed - when I begin to wonder if God truly does know my limits - I am led to read these particular chapters.

Of course, I have no right to feel overwhelmed when I compare myself to Job. Now there was a man who was truly tested. And in his lowest moments his "friends" offer words that do anything but encourage. In essence I interpret their "help" as --- just confess your sin, which you obviously must have because all these things are happening - and God will forgive you. But of course, Job has done nothing wrong. This is a spiritual battle/game with Job as the pawn.

I do find snippets of wisdom mixed within the discouraging advice of the friends, that offer me comfort in times of trial.

Job 11:7-9 Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens - what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave - what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea.

Of course the answer is NO - I cannot possibly fathom the mysteries of God nor probe His limits, and yet I still try to do so. I spend many wasted minutes/hours each day trying to understand WHY rather than just accept that it IS. I want to SEE the purpose for the suffering rather than have FAITH that God does have a purpose and that all things work for the good who believe in Him.

I think that perhaps it is a part of human nature to ask why - and God understands that. He wants us to ask why in prayer. He wants us to speak our minds and inquire of answers. But He does not want us to spend useless time worrying or analyzing. Ask - and rest in the knowledge that in His time he will reveal the answer - and be willing to sometimes accept the answer will be "no" -- that the purpose will remain with Him but have faith that the purpose is in line with His will for our lives.

My constant prayer it seems is Lord I believe -- please help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

Psalm 15-17

2011-02-09T04:32:00.000-08:00

February 9, 2011: Psalm 15-17

The one Psalm out of these three that really spoke to me today - where I am currently living - is Psalm 16. Quite honestly I don't know if I have ever read Psalm 16 before, or if I did, it was just a cursory reading. But today, there are a few verses that just seemed to leap off the page and say "these are written for you, Molly"

Psalm 16: 11 You have made known to me the path of life.

It occurred to me the other day that I have known for quite some time - at least since last October what I should do. I know that I am supposed to continue teaching - but I also know that I am supposed to cut back. While this began as a still small voice in the back of my mind ... it has continued to build and build over time. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have been working too hard - not taking time for joy in the world - and yet I still hold on to teaching all these classes? Why? I think it is because I do not trust that the money will be there. In essence - I do not trust the Lord to provide. Shame on me.

Psalm 16:5 Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

How much more these verses reiterate the fact that I know my place in this world; I know how to focus my life and it IS a pleasant place. He has told me that this place is also a secure place. In other words, Molly, stop doubting and start living with faith. For until I do that, I will not be able to experience the delightful inheritance that is promised.

Psalm 16:7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

This is such a comforting verse to me. Even at night - when I am asleep and oblivious to the present world (in fact, I do not even remember the dreams of the sleep world) I can trust that God will still counsel me. Listen to your heart, Molly - and stop thinking so much with your mind.

The first half of my life was spent living for others and trying to measure up - thinking that if I did just a bit more and worked just a little harder then all would be fine. That has done nothing but perhaps give me a good reputation as a hard worker who is totally burnt out.

I vow to try to live the second half of my life - or what I have left - trying to please God and enjoying the life He has provided for me. Listen to that still small voice before it has to yell in order to gain my attention. Take time to smell those proverbial flowers and actually have fun for fun's sake. This is the way I know that I should enjoy life; not just plodding through day after day.

Thank you, Lord, for sharing these verses with me today - the day that I really needed to hear them and begin to take them to heart.

Judges 1-6

2011-02-08T04:51:00.000-08:00

February 9, 2011: Judges 1-6

My expectation was that Judges was going to be as dry as Joshua; boy was I wrong!

These six chapters breezed by. The first five chapters did contain quite a bit of history a lots of "'-ites" clans to keep track of - but the message that came through loud and clear for me was that God expectations of us are not too great for us to maintain. All this time I have struggled with the God of the Old Testament. He seemed to demand perfection and he was willing to smite any Israelite who had the smallest infraction. When the Bible told me to fear the Lord, that is exactly what I did: scared to death is more like it.

But in these five chapters it seems that the Israelites are constantly turning their backs on the Lord. They cry out to Him when they are being persecuted and attacked - He answers their prayer - once all things are peaceful they go back to their idol ways (pun intended). It is easy for me to roll my eyes at the Israelites and think, "will you guys ever learn?" And yet....

Don't I do the exact same thing? Is not my life of worship luke warm most times - only to be occasionally flamed with a fiery passion (typically during a major trial and just after the deliverance). Who am I to chastise the Israelites so?

Now in the past I would read these scriptures and feel nothing but guilt. I would think I am no better than they are - it is hopeless. While a little bit of guilt I think is a good thing - and can be a motivating factor to begin to do what is right - this kind of self-loathing guilt is nothing but destructive: for me and for my relationship with the Lord.

But this time I have chosen to focus on God's response. Yes, He is a jealous God and His consequences can seem harsh --- but in the end, He always delivers the Israelites once they repent and ask for his help. God wants us to recognize that we are indeed fully dependent upon Him - and He is more than willing to assist us when we acknowledge is omnipotence.

The examples given always show that the times of peace are far greater than the times of trial. In the past I would focus on the number of years that the Israelites endured the consequence --- more than a couple of days sounded too harsh to me. But this is always followed by a number of good years. I must learn to focus on the good. Yes, trials happen - sometimes due to our own sin and poor choices, and sometimes due to others'. But God is faithful. He does hear our cry. He will respond in His time. And we can look forward to peace and prosperity in the future if we learn to always rely and trust in Him, rather than in our own strength.

Genesis 20-23

2011-02-07T04:32:00.000-08:00

February 7, 2011: Genesis 20-23

How many times have I heard the story of Abraham and Isaac. I think it is a powerful story for anyone - but particularly meaningful to a parent. For if you have never given birth to a child and raised him or her, I don't think it is possible to fathom the sacrifice that God was asking Abraham to do.

And yet....I feel as though I was given several new insights while reading this familiar story.

Genesis 20:1 Sometime later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!" "Here I am" he replied.

Instant recognition of God's voice - instant obedience.

I wonder how many times God has tried to gain my attention but I am too busy to hear - or probably more likely - too focused on my own business to acknowledge that I heard. But not Abraham - he heard the Lord's voice, knew it well enough to instantly identify it as the Lord's - and immediately responded that he was here and listening.

Genesis 20:2-3 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey."

God asks Abraham the unspeakable - to sacrifice his one and only son - the son whom he waited nearly 100 years to see -- and Abraham immediately obeyed. No "Let me see if I understood you correctly...." --- No "What about if I offer you some other valuable sacrifice" --- No "What kind of loving God would ask me to kill my own child" Just an immediate acceptance of the Lord's will followed by an instant obedience.

I am so far away from that kind of righteousness. I would immediately question whether I heard the Lord correctly. I do not have a close enough relationship with our creator that I know his voice from the other voices in my head. I have been told to always measure the voice that I think is the Lord's to his commandments that I know are true. Because God is always true He will never command us to do something that is not in line with His word. But it would seem to me that killing a child is not Biblical (although I suppose at this point the 10 Commandments have not yet been given to man).

I also do not have the faith of Abraham. While I cannot imagine the anguish that he must have been feeling, walking up the mountain with the wood for the altar and his son for the sacrifice, he is still able to have an unwavering faith.

Genesis 20: 7-8 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?" "Yes, my son?" Abraham replied. "The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?" Abraham replied, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son." And the two of them went on together.

While Abraham was more than willing to do as God commanded and never questioning --- he also had faith that perhaps God had another plan. He provided Isaac with an answer that would pacify the child - and that would give Abraham a bit of hope.

How many times do I find myself in a pickle and I do think there is a way out. Why can I not have the faith of Abraham that focuses my mind on "God will provide" rather than "I am stuck" Why do I not have the optimism in life that is supplied by hope in the Almighty - but rather have the pessimism that is focused on circumstances alone.

The final insight that I had when reading these scriptures is that God was compassionate and empathetic with Abraham. I believe three times the scripture states that God asked Abraham to "take his son, his only son whom he loves and sacrifice him" (Genesis 20 verses 2, 12, and 16). God knew what a sacrifice that would be because He knew that He would be willing to do the same thing for us: sacrifice his son, his only son, for our salvation. He directs us to the New Testament even in Genesis.

My prayer would be for God to help me learn to discern his voice and in hearing that voice to be obedient. I know that God would not ask me to literally sacrifice one of my own children, so what other sacrifice could be as difficult? None. So I pray that whatever the Lord wish that I sacrifice - time reading fiction for time in His word; salary for peace of mind; that I will immediately obey just as Abraham did.

Romans 11-12

2011-02-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

February 6, 2011: Romans 11-12

What an interesting pairing of chapters. I had a very difficult time with chapter 11 - lots of talk about olive branches and grafting. I think I understand the gist of what is being said, but being a suburban girl rather than a country girl, the agricultural metaphor was somewhat lost on me.

But then chapter 12 follows with what I consider very plain English:
Romans 12:1 ...in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of workshop.

When I read these words I am first prone to think of how I treat my physical body. God has granted me a defined number of days on earth - and I should show gratefulness for each new day by taking care of the earthly body God has given me. I should strive to sleep enough each night in order to properly rejuvenate; I should strive to eat in moderation, taking in enough of the essential elements to maintain a fit body and only a few of the empty calories to assuage the sweet tooth; I should abstain from the substances that would cause harm to the body for I would not want to defile the temple of God; I should exercise in order to keep the engine fine-tuned for any act of worship that He would call me to do.

But then in reading the devotional for this verse, it not only applies to how I nourish the body, but also the actions that I choose to do with the body. Each act of every day should be done with a heart of worship. Not only should I complete daily devotions with a devout and pure heart, but I should also wash dishes, grade papers, visit Mom - with that same attitude of worship.

As I ponder such simple yet profound words, I transform my thoughts from an attitude of "this is easy to understand" to one of "this is impossible to maintain" And that, I think, is the point. There is no way that a human could maintain this kind of worshipful attitude 24 hours a day/7 days a week by herself. HOWEVER, with faith and trust in Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, we can be transformed into a gracious follower who truly desires to always offer her mind, body, and soul to God as a sacrificial offering.

There was so much more to this chapter that I had wanted to write about - but I think this thought is enough for one day. As I go to church please help me to keep that worshipful heart throughout the entire day - and week.

Matthew 11-13

2011-02-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

February 5, 2011: Matthew 11-13

While there are numerous passages from these three chapters that I could focus and meditate on - I will choose but two that seem to meet me where I live today.

Matthew 13:22 The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.

This verse is taken from the parable of the sower. It is up to us to sow the seeds, but we must realize that not all seed will fall on fertile ground. I must keep this in mind as I teach. I tend to accept responsibility for ALL students' learning, but that is not true. It is only up to me to teach - and I must realize that some students will receive it and accept it and move on through the education process. But some students will be like rocky soil where the words fall on deaf ears and they will ignore it. I must do the job that is for me to do, and allow others to take responsibility for their jobs.

That is a pragmatic way in which I can relate these scriptures to my life. But I can also relate to these in the spiritual realm as well. I often feel as though I am the thorny land in which the seeds of the gospel are thrown. I do readily accept it; I do want to fully believe it; but I often allow the worries of my life overshadow the joy of Christianity. I often focus on the lack of provision rather than the bounty. I am choking my own faith and I am my own worst enemy.

But I also found this verse in today's reading which I think partners quite well:

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my hoke is easy and my burden is light.

I am indeed weary. I do feel burdened. Between Mom's failing health, and the busyness of school and grading and students' needs; the shifting responsibilities of my life moving from mother of three to empty nest and now soon-to-be grandmother -- it is just too much. I am allowing the thorns to choke and I do at times truly feel as though I am suffocating.

But Christ calls me to come to him. If I will just come --- He will do the rest. I must yoke myself to Him and allow Him to lead. He will remove the pressure and allow me to breathe. He will make straight the path and allow me to follow. He will take the responsibility and allow me to rest.

I think I need to devise a mental picture that shows me physically giving my cares and worries and burdens over to Christ and He carrying them for me for a while. I need to see the worry lines dissipate from my face and the peace that comes from full trust take over my weary life.

Isaiah 23-28

2011-02-05T21:27:00.000-08:00

February 4, 2011: Isaiah 23-28

Still struggling through these chapters - but there are a few nugget verses that appear.

The one that most struck me today is:

Isaiah 26:9 My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.

Unfortunately these words do not describe my present life, but they describe the life I desire to live.

I still focus more attention on the problems and less attention on the One who can help me handle those problems. I still strive to do it on my own rather than give control to the One who can truly pilot my life. I still go to bed mulling over the day's worries, and I wake up looking forward to the cup of coffee.

My life is far from the perfect spirit-filled life. But I do not wish to give up. I will hope to improve a little each day. I need to make the conscious decision to make God the number one focus of my life before I can ever hope to achieve that mindset naturally.

I think the first baby step would be to make it a habit of turning out the light, lying in bed, and recounting the day's blessings before I fall asleep. Likewise, I would like to make it a habit of turning off the alarm, opening my eyes, and before I step foot on the floor in the morning, praise God for the new opportunities that await me.

Job 9-10

2011-02-03T04:13:00.000-08:00

February 3, 2011: Job 9-10

I remember a few months after we first started attending College Church I was introduced to the concept of the Old Testament being connected with the New Testament. Perhaps obvious for many, but a total revelation to me. I think because I started memorizing and "studying" the Bible at such an early age (the Bible was my history book for the first five years of school while I attended St. Thomas Episcopal) that the obvious connections were lost in the historical details that I was required to learn. I revel in each sermon that connects the scriptures and stand amazed at the seamless story of creation and everlasting life through Christ Jesus.

Since that time I have often wondered if I would ever read the Bible and notice the connections for myself - or if I would always be dependent upon some external wisdom to guide me. Today was the first day that I actually found a connection myself - and there wasn't even a devotional lesson to give a hint.

Job 9:25-28 My days are swifter than a runner; they fly away without a glimpse of joy. They skim past like boats of papyrus, like eagles swooping down on their prey. If I say, "I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile, I still dread all my sufferings, for I know you will not hold me innocent.

Job 9:32-35 He (God) is not a man like me that I might answer him, that we might confront each other in court. If only there were someone to arbitrate between us, to lay his hand upon us both, someone to remove God's rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more. Then I would speak up without fear of him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot.

WOW -- these verses speak to me on so many levels. But I suppose the proper way to voice what I am feeling is to first say that these final verses are now null and void due to the sacrificial love of Christ Jesus. Because of Jesus I now CAN confront God --- Jesus DOES arbitrate between us -- His death DID remove the rod from me and I should NO LONGER be afraid.

Job's dream - his desire - which was impossible in the Old Testament days - was made entirely possible with the birth - death - and resurrection of Jesus.

And so now --- I SHOULD be as Job indicated in the previous verses -- for even though the years are swift and even though they are as fragile as paper boats, I MUST forget my complaint and change my expression and SMILE -- for I am no longer under God's wrath but rather covered by Christ's love.

Lord, please help me to remember these profound verses throughout this day - week - month - and lifetime.

Joshua 21-24

2011-02-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

February 1, 2011 Joshua 21-24

While I have struggled with the reading of Joshua in the past, I thoroughly enjoyed these concluding chapters. There was a lot of summary regarding the faithfulness of the Lord - from Isaac to Jacob to Joseph to Moses. Each successive descendant was able to see the faithfulness of the Lord. It was good for me to see the battles that were fought (of course people died - and I would not consider that a 'good' thing - but the Israelite armies were victorious) - of course they endured years in the desert (another difficult trial of life) but the Lord was faithful to see them to the Promised Land.

I don't know why I always associate the Christian walk with a trouble free life. That is not realistic nor Biblical - but whenever the smallest thing goes wrong - or not the way I have planned - I immediately question the existence of an all powerful God. I think Joshua knew that there are people like me in this world - and apparently there were people like me in the Israelite community - because he repeated several times the faithfulness of the Lord --- and the mandate for our undivided loyalty to Him. He is a jealous God and will not allow us to worship two masters.

Do I build alters to other gods? No. But do I place other values above my relationship with Christ? Sadly, yes. I place monetary happiness above a relationship -- I place my career above that relationship -- and these days I place my precious "I" time above that relationship. Joshua makes it clear: -- God is faithful:

Joshua 21:45 Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.

And we must in turn be faithful to Him:

Joshua 24:20 If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you.

When the trials of life come my way I must not let my first response doubt the Lord's provision, rather my first response should be a remembrance of all the blessings and promises fulfilled in the past - and a security that God will indeed be faithful in the present and future.

Genesis 16-19

2011-01-31T04:37:00.000-08:00

January 31, 2011: Genesis 16-19

I suppose the overwhelming theme of these few chapters is that God is faithful to those who are righteous. The first story that illustrates this theme shows us that God is faithful - but He has a timetable. We must never doubt His promises, despite the seemingly long periods of silence. The second story illustrates this theme by contrasting the story of Lot with the story of Matthew we read last week.

Genesis 16:2 so (Sarai) said to Abram, "The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."

I have always sympathized with Sarai in this story. God promised her a child - a son - that would be the father of all Israel, and so Sarai waited - and waited - and waited. At this point Sarai is about 77 years old - way past the time of child bearing years. Perhaps she thought she had misunderstood the Lord? Yes, she and Abram would have a son, but perhaps they were supposed to adopt - or hire a surrogate?

I have done this countless times in my life - and will probably do it again. I think I hear the Lord, but then I second guess myself. Perhaps I misunderstood. I then try to analyze the situation and see what other possibilities might exist. It is not necessarily that I do not have faith in God --- but rather I do not have faith in my own interpretation of God's leading.

It was not until 13 years later (Abram was 86 when Ishmael was born and he was 99 when the Lord appeared to him again) that Sarai finally conceived her son Isaac. She was now 90 years old! Sometimes I think she is criticized when she laughs at God's pronouncement that now is the time that she will produce an heir. I would think that the laugh was an automatic reaction. Ninety years old?! Again, I think if I were in Sarai's shoes it would not be that I doubted God's ability - but I would question the timing.

This story illustrates to me the importance of patience and waiting for the Lord's perfect timing. We can trust Him. He never wavers on a promise. We must not become discouraged if the timeframe is longer than we desire, but rather expectant.

The second verse that rather lept off the page was found in the story of Lot leaving Sodom and Gomorrah.

Genesis 19: 15-16 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished. When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife....

Genesis 19:17-20 "...Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!" But Lot said to them, "No, my lords, please! .... I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it"

What a contrast between this story - a man who is literally rescued from a burning town and still hesitates and bargains for something different -- to that of Matthew who was collecting taxes one minute, and immediately left his job to follow Christ the next.

How often am I like Lot? How often do I hesitate doing what I know I am supposed to do? We trivialize it and call it procrastination - but in essence it is disobedience. How much further would Lot and his family have traveled if they left instantly rather than waiting until they were forced to leave?

And how often have I bargained with the Lord? Well, I don't really want to do THAT --- but I would be willing to do THIS which is really the same thing, isn't it?

Yes, I am far too much like Lot in life --- and how I desire to be more like Matthew.

My prayer would be to learn to discern the true voice of the Lord and accept it at once. Don't over analyze for fear of misunderstanding; don't procrastinate for fear of leaving my comfort zone; and don't bargain for something less than His best for my life.

Romans 9-10

2011-01-30T21:33:00.000-08:00

January 30, 2011: Romans 9-10

While there were many verses in these two chapters that I found downright confusing --- I have decided to focus on the two verses that really stood out to me as a clearly personal message for me.

Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for the common use?

While I may have read these verses several times in the past, I think I just heard this particular verse for the first time today. To me this verse says -- stop comparing yourself to others! God has made each one of us for a different purpose. Some will receive riches and fame, while others may endure hardships and never be known outside the family. But that does not matter. God has created each of us to serve the particular purpose that He predestined for us. IF we follow his leading and obey his commands, we can take comfort that we are becoming exactly who we are supposed to be.

I always think that I never quite measure up. No matter how hard I work or how hard I try, I always seem to come up short. And in the oft times that I think perhaps I have done a good job, I can look around and find countless others who have done it better. This perfectionist quality makes me miserable, and I am sure makes it unbearable to be around me - for the expectations that I have for my own performance are the same as those I expect of others. I need to learn to accept myself the way God has intended --- and if that is for a common purpose rather than a noble one, I must be satisfied.

Romans 10:17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

This is very plain English. If I want to have more faith - or if I want my faith to be made stronger, then I MUST hear the message that comes from reading the Bible. Daily devotions are essential to maintaining a strong faith; for without that daily intake of His word, it is easy for discouragement to take a foothold. I can no longer just "wish" I had more faith -- the prescription is right in front of me.

Matthew 8-10

2011-01-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

January 29, 2011: Matthew 8-10

I love the Bible verses on Saturdays. Reading the gospels is like conversing with an old friend. Somehow Jesus' words seem easier to understand; He speaks in "plain English" whereas some of the writings of the Old Testament are more formal and less personal.

My first reaction to reading these scriptures is that Matthew wanted to impress on his readers the miracles that Christ performed for those who truly believe. I didn't count how many different miracles were listed in these three chapters, but it was several: everything from making the blind to see to raising a young girl from the dead. ALL of the miracles occurred because those who asked had unwavering faith that Jesus was capable of healing. One woman had such faith that she believed if she just touched his cloak - not ask him face to face or have his hands lay on her - that she would be healed. And she was.

I used to read verses like this and comment "well, that was then but miracles don't happen today." But I think these tangible miracles are listed so that we can learn to recognize the intangible miracles when they happen. When I make it home safe during a snow storm I consider that an intangible miracle --- I could easily have been in an accident but the Lord's protection helped to keep me safe. When our family has been unemployed, the Lord finds a way for us to have enough money to maintain our house and feed the family.

When reading these scriptures today I was struck by the wisdom of a few particular verses that can be applied to my practical as well as spiritual life.
Matthew 8:21,22 Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."
But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."

Again, when I read these verses for the first time several years ago I thought this sounded rather harsh. Surely Jesus is for family, right? Why would he not allow someone to bury his father? A funeral service could not last that long?

But I am slowly learning that I need to pay attention to what is NOT written, as well as what is included in the text. My assumption had been that the father had just died and a funeral was eminent. However, it could be that the father was just ill, but death was not necessarily near. OR it could be the father was elderly but not yet sick. The particular situation does not really matter --- what really matters is the man chose to procrastinate making a very important decision.

While this is most definitely pertinent to our spiritual lives --- we cannot wait to decide to follow Christ we must make the decision now -- it is also pertinent to my every day life. How long have I put my own life on hold until such-and-such happens. I will work on scrapbooks after Mandy has graduated; I will focus on photography after I retire; I will plan a vacation after Mom dies. Why do I put such insignificant parameters around these decisions? After all the Bible also tells me that God will give us our heart desires. Do I have faith to believe that? By procrastinating these hobbies in life (and perhaps putting off faith that I can have fun in the midst of responsibility) I only become resentful and depressed --- which is not good for Mandy, my students, or my relationship with Mom.

I should learn to be more like the disciple Matthew:
Matthew 9:9 "As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

Notice how Matthew didn't say that he needed to wait until his shift was over. Or how he needed to wait for about a year or so until he had saved enough money to quit. No --- Matthew was asked to follow and he obeyed - no excuses - no procrastination.

It is time to seize the day - carpe diem - Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. And I would also add --- each day has enough joy on its own to experience now and not just in some indefinite future.

Isaiah 18-22

2011-01-28T04:38:00.000-08:00

January 28, 2011: Isaiah: 18-22

I am noticing a pattern here.....the verses that I have difficulty discerning are the same verses that the Women's Devotional Bible does not provide an insightful message. Perhaps there are times in the Bible where history and facts are written for record, but they do not necessarily contain wisdom to help with daily 21st century living. I at least feel a bit better that I am not the only one who struggles to say something meaningful after reading these chapters.

That said, I do believe in the adage that we get out what we put in - and if I open my mind to the scriptures prior to reading them, convinced that the Lord is having me read these particular verses on this particular day for a reason, I can find something that either helps me understand or encourages me on my own Christian walk.

Today I was struck by the verses found in chapters 18 and 21:
Isaiah 18:4 This is what the Lord says to me: I will remain quiet and will look on from my dwelling place, like shimmering heat in the sunshine, like a could of dew in the heat of harvest.

Isaiah 21: 20-24 ...When they cry out to the Lord because of their oppressors, He will send them a savior and defender, and He will rescue them. ...They will worship with sacrifices and grain offerings; they will make vows to the Lord and keep them. ...They will turn to the Lord, and He will respond to their pleas and heal them.

The first verse brings home the fact that God is always present - always near. Nothing happens that He is not aware. I love the similes that are used here to illustrate God's omnipresence: shimmering heat in the summer -- shimmering is beautiful, warm, bright, cheery. Not an oppressive heat - but comfortable warmth. Cloud of dew in the heat of harvest -- sweet, cool moisture glistening on the bright green grass is the image that I have here. Refreshing, nurturing.

And yet the next verses seem to tell me that although God is always watching - always nearby - viewing our lives in a caring and nurturing manner --- He remains silent UNTIL we cry out to Him. We seek first - He then responds. He wants us to seek; He continually shows us His presence in every day life (sun - clouds - dew) but He waits for us to acknowledge Him. How compassionate is that? On the one hand I expect God to interfere prior to any calamity -- after all He is God of the universe; knows when a crisis is about to arise; and He can stop anything. BUT...God does not want to interrupt. He does not wish to be an unwelcome guest. He waits until He is invited and then He goes to work. He responds to our pleas.

But it does not stop there. We cry out to Him - He responds - and we then must respond in return by offering sacrifices and vows of faith -- that we fully mean to keep; not just lip service -- true faith and love and worship.

This is the relationship with my savior that I should strive to maintain.

Job 7-8

2011-01-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

January 29, 2011: Job 7-8

Once again I find that I am confused by these scriptures. I think I understand the words that are written, but I am uncertain whether I am receiving the intended message. Perhaps I will begin using the Amplified version of the Bible sooner than next year....

In essence, however, I think that the message of feelings do NOT equal truth is repeated in this section of Job. Job feels forsaken; his riches, his family, and his health have all been taken away. He's suffering emotional, physical, and spiritual anguish and he feels as though God has abandoned his life.

On the one hand I do enjoy reading these chapters and I am grateful that God included them in his word. Job is not afraid to say what is on his mind. He is not afraid to cry out in despair and ask the tough questions: I tried to do your will and yet....

Haven't we all felt this way at one time or another? I know that I have felt this way several times.

The difference, however, between my anguish and Job's is that I spiral downward at a rapid rate. I quickly go from Why have you forsaken me (admitting that I was once accepted and am now rejected) to believing that there must not be a God in the first place. Job never doubts his faith in God --- he only questions God's whereabouts in his life.

Again, emotions are NOT truth. While I may feel abandoned - or that God truly does not care about my life -- the truth of the matter is that God is always here. His silence does not negate His existence.

Emotions are not sinful -- even Job felt this way. How we allow our emotions to direct our actions is where sin creeps in. It is easy to have faith when all is going well.....and it is easy to allow pride to enter - thinking that our own skills and talents have brought us success rather than maintaining a full dependence on the One who created us. But it is through the trials in life when our faith is tested....and have the opportunity to grow and learn valuable lessons. No, I do not like trials, but I must be willing to accept them if I desire to truly mature into the person that God desires me to be.

Job 7:1 and 3 Does not man have hard service on earth?...so I have been allotted months of futility, and nights of misery have been assigned to me.
It is inevitable that trials will enter our human lives.

Job 8:11-13 Can papyrus grow tall where there is no marsh? Can reeds thrive without water? While still growing and uncut, they wither more quickly than grass. Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless.
But we must never allow our feelings of abandonment result in a godless life. He will never leave nor forsake me. And I need him as much as the flowers need the rain.

Joshua 16-20

2011-01-25T04:26:00.000-08:00

January 25,2011: Joshua 16-20

I think next year when I read through the Bible again, I am going to use the Amplified version. For some of the more well-known verses I think this version will help me to dig deeper, and for such "obscure" historical books, like Joshua, I will hopefully learn the significance of all these facts.

Try as I might, I could only skim these five chapters. They deal with the doling out of the land to the twelve tribes of Israel - in great detail: the boundaries of each part and parcel as well as the cities involved. I have never really been a fan of historical documentation, and I suppose that is why I struggle with Tuesday's reading assignments.

I suppose the one thing that does stand out to me in reading these five chapters is that God makes good on promises. He told the twelve tribes of Israel that they would successfully reach the Promised land, and He promised each one of them a rightful inheritance of the land. These five chapters show that God was indeed faithful.
Joshua 19:49-50 When they had finished dividing the land into its allotted portions, the Israelites gave Joshua son of Nun an inheritance among them, as the Lord had commanded. They gave him the town he asked for - Timnath Serah in the hill country of Ephraim. And he built up the town and settled there.

This should be an encouragement to all of us - that what God promises, he delivers - in his time. We have been promised that we will have our hearts' desires, we have been promised that He will never leave nor forsake us. Despite the passage of earthly time, God will make good on these promises at the appointed hour.

Genesis 12-15

2011-01-24T04:40:00.000-08:00

January 24, 2011: Genesis 12-15

It is very easy for me to discount the Lord's speaking to Old Testament prophets. I quickly fall into the trap of believing that it only happened 'back then' --- that God's audible voice and visible miracles were only useful in those times. But today things are different.

And yet, how do I know that things are different? There is not a lot of description of HOW the Lord appeared, or what his voice sounded like. Rather it just vaguely says "The Lord said ...."

The story of Abraham (Abram as he is known in these few chapters) is well known and never ceases to amaze me:
Genesis 12:1, 4 The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you..." So Abram left, as the Lord had told him.

This was a radical command of the Lord. Leave everything familiar to you, leave your family and all the security of your job and go to a place that I will show you later and know that your name will be great. But just as radical - Abram did just that. He didn't study the pros and cons of the situation; he didn't question whether he really heard the Lord's voice or if he was just dreaming; he didn't reason with God that now just wasn't the right time to leave his family, couldn't he just wait until..... NO - Abram listened to what the Lord said and then he obeyed. Simple as that.

But the other fascinating thing that I find in these scriptures is that Abram's obedience was not a guarantee of smooth sailing. When he traveled through Egypt he worried for his life - so instead he lied about Sarai being his wife and said that she was his sister. When they reached Bethel family arguments began to ensue. When they settled that dispute by Lot going east and Abram going west, the land was attacked. When that battle was over the Lord once again spoke to Abram - in words that I would have found distressing:
Genesis 15:13-14 Then the Lord said to him, "know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. but I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions.

Four hundred years?! That seems like a might long time to me. I am not sure that I would have had the determination to go through with it. In exchange for obedience my family will have to endure 400 years of slavery before they will receive freedom and blessings?

But Abram did not argue. Abram did not question. Abram did not try to wiggle out a compromise. Abram just accepted the Lord's decree and obeyed the next command.

I need to learn from Abram. While I think it is good to discern whether it is the Lord's voice or just mindless inner chatter, I do think there is such a thing as over analyzing (something at which I excel). Once it is determined that the request is not contrary to the Lord's will but actually keeping in line with his commandments, I need to accept it and take the next step. Stop worrying and start putting faith in action.

Romans 7-8

2011-01-23T10:31:00.000-08:00

January 23, 2011: Romans 7-8

When I first became a Christian in early 1991 - I found Romans 8:28 and claimed it as my life scripture:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.

This did indeed give me hope that the circumstances in which we found ourselves, unemployed in the middle of the country away from all family and friends - would indeed be used for good, even though it felt as though it was a terrible conclusion.

I continue to return to this verse today - always citing that whatever issue I am faced with, it will eventually be used for good in my life.

But Romans chapter 7 is not filled with hope - or at least not for me. In fact, it seems pretty discouraging:
Romans 7:18-19 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.

So I know what is right and I want to do what is right - but somehow the sinful nature that is inbred in me will not allow me to do that; it takes over and I continue to do the very things that I know I shouldn't and that I really don't want to do.

And while I still do not have a perfect handle on this -- for as I said, I can only ponder it for so long before I head down a very discouraging "what's the use" path --- I am encouraged by the verse a bit later which states:
Romans 8:2-4 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ...God sent his own son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man...

While the law of the old testament can never be fully followed by man due to our innate sinful nature, once we accept Christ as our Savior we are no longer bound by those laws but rather we are now bound by the law of the spirit --- which sets us free because Christ's sacrifice for our sins eradicates the sin in our life. God has separated the sin from the person. He abhors sin - but he loves us. By accepting Christ we become one with Christ and God no longer looks at our faults - but rather sees us as his perfect son Jesus Christ.

I am now not bound by law to obey the law - but I am bound by love to try to obey the law in honor of Christ's sacrifice for me.

In my personal life this year I am trying to work on the debilitating disease of perfectionism. I think that is why Romans 7 is such a difficult chapter for me. So if God knew that we were unable to keep the law, didn't he set us up for failure?

But I think, rather, it is that he knew we needed Him in our life - and the way to truly worship Him was to realize that life cannot be lived perfectly on our own. We NEED the personal relationship of Christ to help us navigate through life on earth - and to enjoy eternal life in Heaven.

Matthew 5-7

2011-01-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

January 22, 2011: Matthew 5-7

There is so much meat in these chapters - so much to focus on, meditate upon and digest, that I feel as though I could read 3-4 verses a day and write a journal entry.

I must remember that whenever I am feeling overwhelmed by the things of this world, I should re-read Matthew 5-7 and become reacquainted with God's omniscience - that he knows all our needs, wants, and desires before we even recognize them ourselves, and that faith in Him will bring peace in my own life.

For today, however, I was particularly struck by the verses -

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
coupled with -
Matthew 6:30b-31a ...O you of little faith? So do not worry...

I want my treasure to be in Heaven. I want to have faith that God will provide. I want to discount worry about money and live in peace that my needs will be supplied and my wants will be brought under control by focusing on His purpose for my life.

But we need money in this world, and in today's economy we need more money to provide fewer needs. I like teaching and I do believe that it is God's purpose for my life. But I do not think it is His purpose that I focus on teaching to the exclusion of everything in life - nor do I think it is His purpose that I spend so much time on teaching that I begin to resent it. I am out of balance and close to burn out. That is NOT God's purpose.

But how do I know how much to scale back? And if I scale back, will there be enough money for any wants? I am convinced that He will take care of our needs -- we have yet to be without shelter, food, or clothing despite the numerous job losses over the years. But our wants -- that is a different matter.

At this point in my life I had thought that I would have time for me. I had thought that my sacrifices for children will be near the end and those sacrifices would be rewarded with some time for myself - to pursue some dreams that I had willingly put on hold.

But if I scale back teaching - would I have the money to pursue those dreams? I will have Time, but will I have money?

And then I am struck with the question --- where is my priority? On what treasure is my heart focusing? And....where is that faith that by following God's direction He will align my dreams and desires?

Lately I have been "storing" earthly treasures. I have been buying discounted books and scrapbooking supplies so that I will have some earthly dreams that I can pursue if the money is not there tomorrow. I have been pursuing life with a poverty mentality - and that is not honoring the Lord.

He tells me in Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In other words, Molly --- live in the moment. Be present. God knows the future, you do not. Just follow the leading for today - and He will take care of tomorrow.

Yes, I must re-read these verses each day of my life in order for them to truly sink in!

Isaiah 12-17

2011-01-22T07:08:00.000-08:00

January 21, 2011: Isaiah 12-17

Again I struggle with the historical chapters. I think I struggle because the names are so foreign to me, I am unsure how to pronounce them, I focus more on the pronunciation than the message, and the unfamiliar makes it difficult to make personal. However even in the midst of this line of thinking I was struck by two things (which may or may not have been the intent of these verses, but perhaps it is what the Lord wanted me to hear anyway).

In Isaiah 14:13-15 (which is entitled the Prophecy against Babylon, so I assume Isaiah is talking about/to the Babylonians) that they will now become weak and low - toppled from their pillar of strength and power - in part because they focused on themselves rather than on the Lord. Four times in these three short verses they are told that they said in their heart " I will raise my throne...I will sit enthroned....I will ascend above the tops of the clouds....I will make myself like the Most High." Focus on self and all that "I" can do - rather than recognizing that I can do nothing apart from the Lord.

I have always associated self-confidence with pride - and since I do not consider myself a confident person, I assumed that I did not suffer from excessive pride. But these verses illustrate that pride is not necessarily a part of confidence - pride is taking responsibility for all things that happen in life and giving no credence to the Lord's provision. I do value independence and responsibility as priority virtues in life, and I strive to be fiercely independent. BUT I must remember that independent from other people is NOT the same as independent from the Lord. I must strive to rely on God - trusting Him that He will provide all I need to accomplish the tasks He has placed before me.

This ties in with Isaiah 17:7-8 In that day men will look to their Maker and turn their eyes to the Holy One of Israel. They will not look to the altars, the work of their own hands...."

I must strive to always look to the Lord - and not the things of this earth that perhaps represent Him but are not Him. There is only one God and He deserves my full attention.

Job 5-6

2011-01-21T04:21:00.000-08:00

January 20, 2011: Job 5-6

It is difficult for me to read Job on two accounts. First of all, I am not sure that I would have the fortitude of Job. I think that I would lapse into "God has certainly given me more than I can handle" which would then spiral me downward into a sea of despair. But perhaps that is why Job is in the Bible --- to help me view my own troubles as trivial. But the other reason why I have a difficult time with Job is because of his friends' response. See, I think they really care about Job and they are trying to support him. And yet everything they say is not what he needs to hear. As someone who struggles with small talk in the first place, this makes me fearful to attempt to offer any support to a hurting Christian. How many of my well-intentioned words would actually cause more pain?

Job 5:7-9 Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward. but if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.

It is inevitable --- we will experience troubles. And while few actually "enjoy" trouble while in the midst of it, I do think most of us would testify that it is through trouble that we experience necessary growth as a person; we learn valuable lessons that aid us in life. We develop character and resiliency.

These verses remind me that first of all --- EVERYONE experiences trouble. So when I am going through a difficult time, I am not "the only one" which is often my emotions taking over my senses. But I also need to remember to always turn to the Lord to help me through. "Lay my cause before him" - and express my feelings. He will understand. Ask what lesson I am to learn from this experience -- what is He trying to teach me? And lastly, do not forget to ask for help. He is the God of the universe; there is no situation that He cannot remedy --- in His time.

Psalms 6-8

2011-01-19T04:25:00.000-08:00

January 19, 2011: Psalms 6-8

I think it is best if I quickly discuss each Psalm individually, rather than this passage all at once.

I like the Psalms because in general they are short, sweet, and deal with a single topic. The ones chosen for today's reading seem to deal a lot with the Lord's anger and calling his righteous judgment on our enemies. While there are times that I would love - and need - to read these kinds of verses over and over again, at this particular time I do not feel as though I am persecuted by others -- thank God! But when that time does come, and I know that it will, I should like to hope that I will remember to return to these passages and find solace in God's word.

Psalm 6:8 Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping.

This is a confident statement that the Lord does hear our prayers - our groans and tears. He may not answer as quickly as my impatient personality would like - but I can be confident that He does hear and He will respond.

Psalm 7:9 O righteous God, who searches minds and hearts, bring to an end the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure.

It has been about ten days since the shooting in Arizona that killed several people, including a 9 year old girl. The shooter was a mentally ill 22 year old man. His mug shot captured the evil behind his eyes. It is frightening to view. This is a prayer that we should all be saying aloud several times a day. The wicked seem to be more bold - careless about human life. I do ask the Lord bring an end to all the violence so that the righteous may indeed be secure.

Psalm 8:3-4 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him...?

It is hard for me to read this Psalm and not hum the popular Michael W. Smith worship song - but when I try to really read this scripture these verses stand out. By simply looking up --- how can we not believe in a creative God? He did indeed create every single star, moon, sun, planet......every tree, bird, insect.....how can we NOT marvel at his infinite works and be humbled by our own existence.

Joshua 11-15

2011-01-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

January 18, 2011: Joshua 11-15

Oh my - these history books are difficult for me to read and stay focused. So much description as to who ruled which land - and how the lands were parceled out to each of the tribes of Israel. I know that detailed records are essential to mankind's history - but this has proven to me that pure facts can be quite dry, while narrative story holds the reader's attention. We want relatable characters and conflict; we want heroes and resolution; and ultimately we want good to win over evil.

Joshua 11:15 As the Lord commanded his servant Moses, so Moses commanded Joshua, and Joshua did it; he left nothing undone of all that the Lord commanded Moses.

Several times in these verses it was restated that Joshua did just as the Lord commanded him. I do not know much of this particular time period, but I can guess that the kings and armies of these enemy territories were formidable. While God promised that he would deliver the enemy to the Israelites, I am sure that there must have been tense situations. I would think that some of the battles would have been close. If I were Joshua, I might have even wondered if I was going to survive the war. But nowhere does it state Joshua's hesitancy to follow the Lord. It states that the Lord commanded - and Joshua did all that he was commanded to do.

How I wish I had the faith of Joshua. When I hear the still small voice of the Lord I wish I would not over-analyze its meaning, but rather just do as the Lord commands. I am sure that there will be some tense moments, but just as the Lord was faithful to Joshua, should I not expect the Lord to be faithful to me?

I am considering --- actually I know --- that the Lord wants me to cut back my teaching schedule next year. I am still supposed to teach -- just not as many classes. I need to have time for me.

And yet I continue to analyze the situation. Will we have enough money? Will I regret giving up certain classes? Will I find something that I wish i could have (mostly travel) that I could have if only....I had kept that number of classes.

Why can I not just believe that the Lord will provide. And if the wants are not provided for, then they were not meant to be.

Genesis 8-11

2011-01-17T07:11:00.000-08:00

January 17, 2011: Genesis 8-11

The book continues with the story of Noah. The rains stop after 40 days, but Noah and his family remain in the ark another 150 days before sending out a dove to see if the has dried. Once the dove did not return, they had to wait another few weeks before God informed them that the ground was dry and they could depart the ark. What tight quarters those must have been. And yet what conversations of God's provision must have taken place. I can't imagine the responsibility that they must have felt, knowing that they would be responsible for populating the entire human race!

God then makes a promise to Noah - which I have heard my entire life - but he follows it with another more jarring statement:

Genesis 8:21 ....Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood..."

I immediately want to argue with that statement. Babies are so innocent - how can they be evil?! But the scripture does not say infants, but rather childhood --- and once I allow myself to truly think about it, if we let our children do anything they desired (their heart) they would be evil. They would steal what they wanted; they would hit when they didn't get their way; they would not show respect to one another; the list could go on and on. Yes, we are born with a sinful nature.

Once I get my heard around that - then life seems so terribly depressing. We are all evil? Left to our own devices, none of us is capable of doing good on our own? Ham is cursed because he makes fun of his father's nakedness? I know that we are supposed to honor our father and our mother, but to have entire offspring cursed because of an immature response seems a bit harsh to me.

But that is where Christ comes in. Yes, the God of the Old Testament was a rule follower and demanded obedience to the rules, or a sacrifice of atonement. Perhaps the OT people were not so willing to sacrifice because it meant giving God something of value that they would rather keep for themselves (the first fruits, the unblemished lamb).

So the God of the New Testament models this behavior by giving us HIS best --- His one and only Son -- to be the atonement for our constant sinfulness. All He asks of us is to be accepting of His son, not reject him. Follow his teachings, emulate his actions, and the evil that is inherent in our hearts will be eradicated from God's sight; He will only see the perfect heart of His son, our savior, Jesus Christ.

It is slowly starting to make more sense. I need to stop trying to be perfect all the time - for that is an impossible goal, but rather just accept Christ. Try to emulate, but know that WHEN I fall short (which I certainly will) He is there is forgive those sins and atone on my behalf.

Romans 5-6

2011-01-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

January 16, 2011: Romans 5-6

These chapters of Romans makes a bit more sense to me - although Paul's writing style is still that of a lawyer presenting his case: very methodical, always thinking about the opposition's comeback and how to refute it right away. Today's reading of these verses had me focus on a particular concept with which I have struggled for years.

It has always seemed harsh, to me, that God would only allow Christians, that is, those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior, to enter heaven. All others, it would seem, are condemned to hell. It seems that there are huge numbers of people who are good people who happen to follow another faith - and to think that a loving God could be so callous as to overlook their goodness and banish them to hell is unfathomable to me.

In chapter 5, however, verses 12-20, Paul mentions several times about the two significant men in life: Adam, through which sin entered the world and ALL men are sinners due to him (which I don't seem to have a difficult time accepting) and Jesus, God's gift to mankind and our salvation is due to him (why is this so hard for me to accept?). This is repeated several times, I think, so that this point can be made clear. Each time is worded slightly different, but all point to the same conclusion: salvation is ONLY available through faith in Christ.

Romans 5:18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.

While I still struggle with the loving God concept of condemning good people to eternal damnation, I do think this repetition helps me to perhaps understand it a bit better. I remember one time someone told me that God does not differentiate sin: sin is sin. Humans do, however. We view telling a white lie is not nearly as consequential as committing murder. But to God, as I understand it, sin is sin. Taking the life of a fellow human being is no worse than taking a cookie from the cookie jar. So if that is God's view --- then there really are NO good people (as I would like to think). Because ALL people sin --- maybe not big ones, but we do sin (especially if we look at the letter of the laws).

In the Old Testament people could atone for their sins by offering sacrifices that were pleasing to God. After God's gift of Jesus Christ, however, the ultimate sacrifice, there are no other sacrifices that would be pleasing. Rejection of his only son --- His gift to us --- means rejection of God. And if we choose to reject God, then we cannot have fellowship with him -- on earth through prayer or in heaven after death.

Still confusing --- still harsh --- but I do understand a bit more now.

And I am more accepting of this precious gift.

Matthew 3-4

2011-01-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

January 15, 2011 - Matthew 3-4

I remember the first time that I was introduced to these scriptures as an adult. The Sunday School teacher commented that the high spiritual moment of baptism was immediately followed by a period of temptation for Christ. Once that was illustrated, I realized that is true in our lives as well. It seems just as though I get a handle on daily devotions, or the true love of Christ -- I am attacked or bombarded by some personal defeat that makes me re-question these spiritual truths.

In today's reading I was struck by something else.

Matthew 4:3-4 '....If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.'
Jesus answered, 'It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'

In my spiritual immaturity, when things are not quite going the way that I expect them, it is easy for me to slip into the thought process --- the God of the universe could surely change and/or prevent this situation from happening. So either there is no God - or that God does not truly care for me.

But here, in these verses, it is Christ himself who is starving - who could easily change the stones into food for himself, and yet he chooses to deny himself in order to draw nearer to the Lord. If we are created in God's image, with the purpose of showing Christ to the world and becoming more and more like our creator --- then it stands to reason that even though He HAS the power to do anything - He may in fact choose to do nothing in order to achieve the bigger purpose for our world.

Isaiah 7-11

2011-01-14T04:37:00.000-08:00

January 14, 2011 - Isaiah 7-11

So far I equate Isaiah to Romans on my difficulty scale of understanding scripture. I will obviously have to re-read this book several times to truly understand all that the prophet is talking about.

From these chapters, however, I have focused on two things.

Isaiah 9:12 Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away, his hand is still upraised.

This passage was repeated several times in these few chapters. His anger is not turned away. On the one hand, this sounds like God holds a grudge. It sounds like that once we slip up, his anger at our mis-step is forever. It leaves me to think that either I should be fearful of every step I take, lest I inadvertently do something to cause the Lord's wrath OR I should not even care anymore because no matter how hard I try, I will never measure up.

Yet upon further reflection I noticed that nowhere in these few chapters does it mention that the Israelites actually asked God for forgiveness. Nowhere does it state that they are seeking to do his will and stumble, but rather, they seem to knowingly ignore his commandments.

Isaiah 10:20 In that day the remnant of Israel, the survivors of the house of Jacob, will no longer rely on him who struck them down but will truly rely on the Lord, the Holy One of Israel.

Isaiah 11:1-4 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit....He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.

Yes, the God of the Old Testament was a jealous God -- and seemed quick to anger and slow to forgive. I think that is just my interpretation. Perhaps if I read the Bible more I will begin to notice that it was actually the people of Israel who refused to follow the Lord - despite all the blessings he bestowed and the chances he gave. YET.....with this shoot that comes from the stump of Jesse --- with Jesus Christ --- we are given access to the one who is righteous and just; the one who listens to our repentant hearts and erases the blot of sin from our lives. He makes it possible for us to have relationship with God that is not built on fear of anger, but rather built on acceptance and love.

Job 3-4

2011-01-13T04:38:00.000-08:00

January 13, 2011 - Job 3-4

I struggle with reading Job. I think I need to take a Bible study course that focuses on this book to help me better understand what is truly being said here.

On the one hand, I can read Job and feel better about my own life. No matter how many things seem to be going wrong, my trials and suffering never come close to those of Job. If he could remain faithful and ultimately see good times once again, then it gives me hope that I can experience the same.

On the other hand, Job confuses my understanding of God. I understand that God did not cause the suffering - but He did allow it. And not just a little bit of suffering to add character, but tremendous suffering where ALL is lost: personal health, material possessions, loving family members. It seems as though this was a test where Job was set up to fail - and as a teacher, that is not education with compassion.

So in an effort to truly make this the year where I focus on the God of love rather than the God of retribution, I will choose two verses from today's reading.

Job 3:3 May the day of my birth perish

I read these words and instantly had the image of Jimmy Stewart with his angel Clarence in the movie, It's a Wonderful Life. Life has dealt his character some bad cards and finally it is simply too much that he considers jumping off the bridge and ending it all. The angel rescues him and grants him his wish: to see life as if he had never existed. Much like it was said in ....

Job 4:4-5 Think how you have instructed many, how you have strengthened feeble hands. Your words have supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees. But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged; it strikes you, and you are dismayed. Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?

In other words, without Job's life, there would be many who were not encouraged during their times of suffering and trial. His life was worth living.

Several times already this year I have read of God as our shelter, our refuge. He is the place where we should run to for protective cover. He will not turn his back on us. He may continue to allow struggle in our lives, but we will not have to go through it alone.

I will choose not to think about my small faith - knowing that if I were afflicted in the same way Job was, I would never maintain faith but renounce God. Instead, I will be grateful for the faith that I have been given, and know that God will not give me more than I can handle. He knows my limitations and His desire is that I learn to walk more closely with Him; not to send me away.

Psalms 3-5

2011-01-12T04:28:00.000-08:00

January 12, 2011 - Psalms 3-5

When I was in parochial school from kindergarten through fifth grade, we used the Bible as a textbook. I do not remember studying history, per se, just Bible history. Consequently I was well-versed in Bible knowledge (and would take great pride in running the Jeopardy board on this subject) - but it never entered my heart. I think a small reason for that was the focus of our Bible study was the God of retribution - thou shalt nots - and I was definitely filled with the Fear of the Lord, but not the love. God was scary.

While there is a lot of meat in these three chapters, and David spends quite some time detailing the consequences of sinners, I want to choose to focus on the positive imagery of these verses. I think I have too much hail and brimstone head knowledge leftover from grammar school - that to dwell on that may be a giant step backward.

Here are a few passages worth pondering:

Psalm 3:3
But you are a shield around me, O Lord;
You bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

Psalm 4:7-8
You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
I will lie down and sleep in your peace
for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in great expectation.

Joshua 6-10

2011-01-11T08:16:00.000-08:00

January 11, 2011 - Joshua 6-10

It was interesting to read these chapters after yesterday's story of Noah. I was struck how these righteous leaders followed God's command - no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Noah built a large ark with very exact specifications despite the fact that he had never experienced a flood. Joshua commanded his people to march around the city of Jericho once a day for six days - and then seven times on the seventh day - because of God's promise of victory. I think I would have rolled my eyes and said, You've Got to be Kidding Me.

But perhaps that is what I do. I know what I am supposed to do, but I think it sounds ridiculous, or irresponsible, and I ignore it. I know that I need to cut back my teaching schedule. I know that I need to let go of Computer Apps and 7th grade (possibly more - but those two are definitive) and yet I am afraid that the financial ramifications will be too great. Did Noah allow fear to stand in the way of disobedience? Was God not faithful to his promise?

Joshua 8:1 Then the Lord said to Joshua, "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. for I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land."

The Lord is making a promise to Joshua --- he is speaking about a future event --- and yet He does not say, "I will deliver into your hands" --- but rather, "I have delivered into your hands." Present tense. It IS happening. There is no maybe -- no possibility - no probability -- it is certain.

I must trust the Lord for He does see the future as clearly as I see the past. He knows. He only asks that I have faith in His wisdom to do what is right for me.

Genesis 4-7

2011-01-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

January 10, 2011: Genesis 4-7

Yesterday's devotional from Romans talked about faith in tandem with good works and following the law. Today's scripture also talks about faith - in the midst of evil maintaining faith in God.

The story of Noah has always fascinated me -- first as a young child who loved imagining all the animals lining up to walk two-by-two into the ark and sail away to a new beginning. But as I grew older I began to really focus on Noah. This man built a huge boat at a time when the earth knew nothing about floods. He did not know what an ark was - he did know what floods entailed - he had the entire city making fun of his labors - and yet he maintained a faith in God that said " no matter how foolish I appear, I will do as you ask."

I have felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit for me to cut back on the number of classes that I teach. This year I teach 8 - although if Brit Lit had held it would have been 9. Next year there will certainly be a British Literature course and all the extra reading and grading papers that goes with it.

I am exhausted and I am near burn out. I love teaching - but with each passing day I loathe grading more and more. This is not good for me, nor is it good for the students.

But I am afraid --- I am afraid that if I cut back on the number of classes that finances will be impossible. What if ... scenarios continue to run through my mind. But isn't fear a lack of faith? By fearing to cut back aren't I in essence saying I don't trust God to provide?

I have been through enough financial situations with the Lord that I know he will provide my needs - and next year after Mandy graduates the needs will be even fewer. But it is the wants that I am afraid that He will not give. Am I really that shallow? Am I really that materialistic?

Genesis 6:22 "Now Noah did everything just as God commanded him."

My prayer is that I will develop enough faith over this next semester that I can trust God to provide so that I can do what I know I am supposed to do --- but back on responsibility and start living life to its full capacity.

Romans 3-4

2011-01-10T05:43:00.000-08:00

January 9, 2011: Romans 3-4

I still find Romans a difficult book to understand. Perhaps it is because Paul is writing to a particular audience, one that is well versed in legal jargon and he must use words and phrases that they will appreciate. I much prefer the plain, simple talk of the epistles.

But I do think the essence of these two chapters are that faith and works do go hand in hand --- but there is a priority that must be followed. We cannot be saved by works alone. That is, we cannot follow the law to the letter and expect salvation --- for no one is capable of following the law to the letter. We can try as hard as we will, but it is humanly impossible to not sin. For a perfectionist like myself - and a rule follower - this is a rather hopeless situation and it would be easy to say "why bother"

But Paul is telling the Romans that faith in Jesus Christ is the first priority. Faith in Christ increases our desire to do good works, while at the same time knowing that we cannot do it alone. Christ is our partner and our savior. Through him all things are possible, if it is according to the will of God.

Romans 4:20-22 "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of god, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why 'it was credited to him as righteousness."

In the devotional response the author stated "The only people who think they can make it on their own are people who have cut God down to their size." I need to start recognizing God for who He really is. I need to stop trying to hard to do it "right" and rest in the knowledge that God is sufficient.

Matthew 1-2

2011-01-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

January 8, 2011: Matthew 1-2

This is another instance where I know the story by heart and it would be rather easy to skim the verses and say that is that. But today I was struck by two things in reading this familiar scripture.

First I noticed the numerous references to Old Testament scripture. I am ashamed to say that it was not until my early thirties that I realized there was any sort of connection between the Old and New Testaments. I think because I attended parochial school at such a young age - where scripture memorization was required but there was no mention of a personal relationship with Jesus - I just viewed the Bible as a textbook. The Old Testament was before Christ and the New Testament afterwards. Both texts were part of the same volume because they were God-breathed, but other than that, I thought were there were separate texts.

Chapter 1 verse 1 begins with the genealogy of Christ, which directly shows the connection between the two (now when I was young and the priest read these particular verses, the only word that stood out to me was 'begat" --- I failed to notice any of the other words in connection to Christ's linage. But that is not the only reference to the Old Testament. From chapter 1 verse 18 through the end of Chapter 2 there are at least five other references to Old Testament prophesies. For me, this somehow provides legitimacy to Jesus as the only son of God and savior of the world. I am the epitome of doubting Thomas and must always be "shown" why something is true. While belief in Jesus Christ is a matter of faith - this provides some substance.

Matthew 1:20 "But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said..."
Matthew 2:13 "When they had tone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream."
Matthew 2:19 "After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said..."

Secondly, I noticed that Joseph was always directed by God through an angel that appears in his dreams. This happens three times in these two chapters. Dreams are important in the Old Testament - as they provided necessary direction - and they are also important in New Testament times. God seems to speak to his faithful through dreams. I wonder if this happens today? And if so, then why do I not remember my dreams? I am often in awe of the clarity in which Mandy can recall her nightly "visions" while I remember nothing. Am I missing out on insight?

I know that many writers and other creative types rely on dreams for inspiration. They will often wake up in the middle of the night to quickly record a vivid dream before drifting off to sleep again. In the morning they have a record from which they can use for creative projects. I do not even recall waking up in the middle of the night - or if I do it is because my legs or stiff or Geoff is snoring - but I do not wake up because of a dream, and I certainly do not remember anything worth noting. Is this a skill that should be cultivated? Am I not only missing out on inspiration but possibly God's still small voice trying to communicate with me? How does one cultivate snatching images of dreams?

Isaiah 1-5

2011-01-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

January 7, 2011: Isaiah 1-5

I missed a day, but refuse to give up.

I must admit that I found these five chapters somewhat difficult to get into. The basic idea, as I see it, is that the people of Israel continue to do evil and ignore the will of the Lord. They are arrogant and prideful and Isaiah is warning them of God's justice: he smite all those who have turned against him. I think I found this difficult to get into because 1) it is a constant theme of the Bible and I have heard it over and over again and 2) these five chapters seem to reiterate the same thing (which....is probably because it is important!)

Isaiah 5:11-12 "Woe to those who rise early in the morning to run after their drinks, who stay up late at night till they are inflamed with wine. They have harps and lyres at their banquets, tambourines and flutes and wine, but they have no regard for the deeds of the Lord, no respect for the work of his hands."

On the initial reading of these verses I think that it refers to an alcoholic: wakes up thinking about drinking - goes to bed "inflamed" with too much wine. But as I try to make the verses more personal, I think perhaps I can interpret them this way:

Woe to the man (or woman) - ME - who rises early in the morning - not to spend time with the Lord - but rather to start the business of the day with no regard as to what the Lord would desire or to ask the Lord to direct my path. Woe to the person - ME - who works all day at rather trivial pursuits, only to welcome the end of the day with a party with friends or excessive food/drink/chocolate at home. There is no turning to the Lord for guidance - nor gratefulness to the Lord for blessings - nor praise for the Lord for who He is - nor repentance to the Lord for prideful thinking that I can do it all herself. The entire day is spent inward - focusing on me - rather than outward focusing on how I can honor him through those works.

Isaiah is calling me - asking me to realize that there is more to life than the busy-ness. There is refuge (to use the scripture earlier this week) in the Lord if only I am willing and desirous to find the time to spend with Him.

Job 1-2

2011-01-06T04:31:00.000-08:00

January 6, 2011: Job 1-2

With a day like yesterday it was fitting that today's scripture would focus on Job. It is not that I faced such devastating events like death or destruction or personal illness, but there was just so much stress and strain in the day. I did not sleep well the night before so I started the day with only two hours sleep. It was the first day of second semester and while everything went well, there was still the anxiety that accompanies the start of a new school routine. At lunch I received an email that Mom was going back to the hospital - just 18 hours since she had left the day before! At 3:00 I received another message that she was being admitted for congestive heart failure, kidney infection, and possible pneumonia. I went straight from school to the hospital - again. By the time I got home the lack of sleep but stress of the day wore me out. As is typical in such circumstances, the straw that broke the camel's back was trivial and insignificant.

I wanted to watch a movie. In fact I had promised my students that I would watch Lord of the Rings and I felt that my time was running out. It wasn't that I just wanted to watch a movie - I had to watch a movie. The DVD player wouldn't work. By the time I located the problem, the cable to the television became loose and disconnected. I tried the DVD in the desktop, Windows Media would continue to crash. I finally was able to watch it sitting in one single position with my netbook in my lap and the external cd drive next to me on the couch. My blood pressure was high, my mood was fowl, and I must confess that I thought perhaps had sent me a bit more than I could handle. I was angry, frustrated, and thought the God of the universe could/should indeed give me a break.

This morning I read in Job 1:22 "In all this Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." and again in Job 2:10 Job tells his wife, "Shall we accept good from God, but not trouble?" God has a way of correcting us with grace and mercy through His word.

This morning I woke up after seven hours sleep and feel more refreshed. I tried the television and it still does not work, but that is ok. I only watch the news and I can glean all I need from the internet. My school day should be low key today - only two classes - and I will be done early. I will visit Mom in the hospital and hopefully not be met with too many surprises. I pray for God's forgiveness of my sinful response last night, and I ask for strength and faith as I go forth to meet this new day - whatever He has planned.

Psalms 1-2

2011-01-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

January 5, 2011: Psalms 1 and 2

I return to school today after a two week break. I am ready, but I suppose subconsciously I am anxious, for I could not fall asleep until after 2:00AM and I had to wake up at 5:00. Three hours sleep is not a great way to start the day.

The scripture today seems to focus on the wrath of the Lord towards the wicked, but the blessings poured out upon the righteous. I take comfort in the last line that I read today:

Psalm 2:12c Blessed are those who take refuge in him

Refuge. I took the liberty of looking up the definition and this is what I found: shelter or protection from danger or trouble; anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape. security - safety - retreat - asylum - sanctuary - haven - stronghold

I suppose I have always associated danger with word refuge - but that is only one meaning of the word. I take comfort today in knowing that God can be my refuge in times when I just need a little help and comfort. He can relieve my anxieties - no matter how subconscious - and he can sustain my tired, sleep-deprived body to get through the day.

As a side note - I am always taken aback by the English language and how words can sound similar - and be separated by only one letter - and yet take on such different meanings. I think I always associated a rather negative connotation to the word Refuge because it sounded so similar to the Refuse. Not the verb (which sounds like refooze) but rather the noun - which means garbage, trash, something discarded as worthless. I have never wanted to associate God as a refuge because my mind instantly conjured up a landfill of stinky useless items that no one wanted. I didn't want to think of my God as that.

But now, as I have truly studied the word REFUGE - and the difference one letter makes - I am comforted that He can truly be my retreat in the middle of chaos. He can be my sanctuary when I feel bombarded by life.

Joshua 1-5

2011-01-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

January 4, 2011: Joshua 1-5

I chose this particular reading plan because it will allow me to read various sections of the Bible each week - which I hope will keep me from becoming too bored. I have tried other Bible in a Year programs, but quite honestly, I simply have not been able to wade through the difficult Old Testament books that deal with historical record rather than narrative story.

This reading program has me focus on a different portion of the Bible each day of the week: Sundays focus on the Epistles; Monday is the Law; Tuesday is History; Wednesday is the Psalms; Thursday is Poetry; Friday is Prophecy; and Saturday is the Gospels. I think this is a unique way to study the Bible and I am looking forward to the entire year.

Today's verses focus on Joshua's entry into the promised land While I have read about Moses' calling to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, I have read very little after Exodus. In today's reading I was captivated by the thought in the very first chapter..

Joshua 1 mentions not once, nor twice, but FOUR times that Joshua is to be strong and courageous. Now this would make sense to ask of a soldier going into battle, but what about for me? I immediately associate these two words with heroes who must literally face life-or-death situations. But that is not my life. Why must I be strong and courageous?

I think that the Lord is trying to tell me to be strong in whatever "fight" we are in at the moment. Do not become discouraged (the opposite of courage), but rather stay the course. It is very easy for me to become discouraged in nearly every endeavor. I become discouraged at school because I do not think I am reaching all students, or my lesson plans fall flat, or I am being too hard/soft/unfair etc. My immediate reaction is to quit because I am not being effective. This verse tells me to be of courage (don't become discouraged). That God is with me and He will help me through the difficult times.

I become discouraged in personal life as well. I feel as though I have such little free time and I want to make the most of it. I want to be able to start a new project - be it writing or photography or scrapbooking - and do it perfectly the first time. I want to create quickly and masterfully. These unrealistic expectations set me up for failure and when I do not measure up, the discouragement often translates into quitting. These verses reiterate that I should not quit. BE courageous --- stick it out even when it is not perfect. Stick it out even if it takes longer than expected and there does not appear to be much to show for the effort. Stick it out and be amazed at what God can reveal through disappointments and struggles.

Joshua 4:6-7 ...In the future, when your children ask 'What do these stones mean?" tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord...These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.

I was struck by these verses because they seem to reiterate the importance of preserving family memories for future generations. Stones were collected to symbolize the faithfulness of the Lord in providing passage safely into the Promised Land. Pictures and other valuable souvenirs should be kept and showcased to leave a family legacy for my children, grandchildren, and possibly others. This gives meaning to my personal interests: writing and photographs and scrapbooking are all ways in which I can answer the question, "what does this mean?" in a profound and meaningful way.

Genesis 1-3

2011-01-03T04:46:00.000-08:00

January 3, 2011: Genesis 1-3

I have read these chapters so many times in my life that could probably say them by heart. Because of this, I knew that it would be easy to just skim the Word rather than truly read it. I said a short prayer before starting devotions this morning, specifically asking God to help me read this passage with an open mind. And as always, God answers prayer.

I have always been struck by God's sense of order in creating the world. I am a very organized person surrounded by rather free-spirits, and I have always taken comfort that God is also highly organized. But today's reading helped me to focus on God the Creator. Creativity is something that I have squelched in myself for way too many years. For some reason I have always viewed any kind of creative task as being frivolous and therefore only worth pursuing when all other high priority tasks have been completed - like housecleaning and laundry. But these verses illustrate the power and necessity of creativity - and if Genesis 1:27 is true (which I believe all scripture is truth) then God created us in His image. He created us to be creative.

I am also struck by the amount of time and care that God took in creating the universe. I mean, he is God afterall, and it seems to me that He could have easily created the entire world in a blink of an eye. But he did not. God gave thought and care to each component. He often went back and added elements to what he had already created (for example - he separated the waters on the second day; allowed dry ground to appear on the third day; and filled the waters with living creatures on the fifth day). I am always way too impatient with myself during creative endeavors. I somehow set up impossible expectations that I should be able to do it perfectly the first time. I struggle with the concept of trial and error - especially the error portion. I am so task oriented that I want to be able to check the project off the to-do list in record time, rather than enjoy the creative process. I need to slow down and enjoy the journey.

I also noticed that at the end of each day God reviews his work and "God saw that it was good." When I sit back I rarely allow myself to see the good in what I have created; I focus on the flaws. Perhaps I need to begin to realize that good does not mean perfect; good means satisfaction with an honest effort.

And then of course there is the 7th day when God - the Creator of the entire universe and Divine Ruler of humanity - takes a rest. For too many years I have denied myself a break. If I wasn't working on lesson plans I was grading papers; if I wasn't grading papers I was cleaning the kitchen - or doing laundry - or thinking about doing all that I should be doing. I rarely just rested - and certainly not routinely one day a week. This year I am trying to remedy that situation. If God saw the need and made the time to rest and rejuvenate, then so should I. All work and no play does indeed make Molly a very dull - and stressed out - lady.

Genesis 2:17 "but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

I am embarrassed to say that I have misinterpreted this verse my entire life. I always thought that the reason Adam was forbidden to eat that fruit was because God did not want him to be knowledgeable - and quite honestly, as someone who adores learning - I was quite confused by this. Isn't knowledge good? Didn't God give us a brain to be used and to be exercised? But I have learned today that knowledge is not the key word here - the key word is evil. Up until this point the Garden of Eden was all about good; there was no knowledge of evil. And God knew that knowledge of evil would bring pain, disappointment, and sadness into our lives. He wanted to shield us from that. He truly was trying to protect us - not limit us. And all this time I thought that God was just trying to test us - set us up for failure.

I obviously have a lot to learn about God and His perfect plan for our lives. I am so grateful that He has given us His word that we may study it and learn to apply it to our lives while we are here on this earth.